


Supernatural Season 14 meta

by karoffelbrei89



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Archived From Tumblr, Meta, Meta Essay, Nonfiction, Supernatural meta, cross-posted from tumblr, spn meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2019-09-20 14:13:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 27,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17024142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karoffelbrei89/pseuds/karoffelbrei89
Summary: Collection of my metas I wrote for season 14 of Supernatural. I wrote those at the time the season aired, so some speculations might be completely wrong. Posting here as an archive because tumblr is no longer safe.





	1. Thoughts about Spn 14x01

**Thoughts about Spn 14x01**

**IT IS TIME AGAIN! THERE WILL BE SPOILERS! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**

So, this episode. I admit, last season’s finale left me a bit underwhelmed, and I didn’t feel quite as excited for the new season as I usually did. 14x01 was mostly a good episode (though there have been better season openers), that mostly teased us with the stories and arcs that will come this season. The strong moments where definitely the character moments, not so much the plot, and it was my emotional investment in these characters that carried me through this episode.

But as always (you know the drill), let’s have a closer look.

**You are my Beyoncé**

SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!! If anything this was a Sam-episode through and through. And look, I love Dean, and I want him back, but if we get that much great Sam content Dean can be MIA a bit longer. Sam officially no longer gives a fuck anymore and has transformed into his most BAMF-like version (he is basically Steve Rogers in _Infinity War_ ). And he is in charge, coordinating all the hunters, which is such a good look on him, and something that we saw at the end of season 12, especially in 12x22 and somehow that storyline was dropped in season 13 and I’m glad it is back. And I think this version of Sam, someone who naturally takes responsibility and that people look up to and trust, is who Sam really is when he is allowed to be. I say allowed because I think Sam himself forbid it to become this person. And one of the reasons is that as the youngest within the family hierarchy it was never his job to be in charge. That was his father’s job, and in John’s absence it was Dean’s. And things will get interesting once Dean returns, because Dean is not used to see Sam like this or to take orders from him (though it would be good if Dean can give up some of the weight he had carried around his entire life).

The other reason why Sam might never tried before to be in charge is that for a long time he didn’t think he was worthy. He saw himself as a freak, as the one who freed Lucifer, willing to give his own life to pay for his sins, but not someone others could follow.

And speaking of Lucifer. When we said we want Lucifer gone we wanted it because a) Lucifer was a dick and b) Mark P is a dick as well. I don’t know what the guy did that he is still on the show, and I’m super annoyed I still have to see his face. And therefore give it to Sam to talk to Nick, because even though he knows Nick was a victim as well, he still wears the face of his abuser. Nick might be a part of Sam’s healing process. And the fact that Nick survived while Lucifer died indicates that the archangel blade could be used on Michael as well to save Dean. I wonder if they still have the archangel blade however, or why else would Ketch look for the magic egg? (Yes, that is the official name now.) Also Nick seemed pretty ok (apart from some nightmares) for someone who had been possessed by an archangel for years? Remember Raphael’s vessel in 5x03? The guy was completely apathetic. And once Dean returns I want to see more than just nightmares. Give me all the angst.

I also loved the conversation between Sam and Mary. Mary is still one of my favourite characters (suck it up) and I love that she clarified that she is not naïve. Her son is missing and she is painfully aware what could happen to him. But she has to believe in the good or else she drowns in the bad. And you know who reminded that of? A very young Sam.

> _“I wanted to believe … so badly, ah … It’s so damn hard to do this, what we do. You’re all alone, you know? And … there’s so much evil out there in the world, Dean, I feel like I could drown in it. […]And I needed to think that there was something else, watching too, you know? Some higher power. Some greater good. And that maybe […]I could be saved.”_ (2x13 Houses of the Holy)

I absolutely loved BAMF!Sam in his confrontation with Kip. Even though I’m not a huge fan of fight scenes in slow motion. But Kip and that dude from 13x08 learned their lesson from Crowley: you can’t run hell if you underestimate Winchesters. But cute they believed the Winchesters ever made a deal with Crowley. Still, I’m glad that don’t try to replace Crowley, because no other character could replace him. Still, there is a vacancy, and during the season we will eventually get back to a hell without a leader (will we see a civil war like the angels had in season 9?).

**A better world**

I am still not overly excited over Michael!Dean (as a concept), but give it to Jensen for nailing down that character (and speaking Arabic(!!!) ). Still don’t know why he had to look like the dude from _Peaky Blinders_ but whatever. Michael so far travels around asking humans, angels and as it seems demons what they want. Jamil seems rightfully afraid (remember angels are warriors of God), but bless his heart that from three options offered in that verse Michael was his last. But it isn’t so much what everyone wants but rather if Michael thinks of them worthy of saving. And this is the complete opposite of how Cas was introduced in 4x01. He had saved Dean, even though Dean thought he didn’t deserve to be saved. Of course Cas had his orders back then, and even in 4x22 he still wondered what was so worth saving on earth. And it was Dean who taught him, showed him what really had value: love and family and a place of belonging (sounds familiar?). And isn’t it ironic that the very same Dean now is the vessel to an angel who asks the very same questions? Alanis thinks so.

The most interesting part regarding Michael was his conversation with Anael (that both Michael and Sam referred  to as “Jo”). First of we finally learned how angels see each other (which was a beautiful shot, so thank you for that). But everything about Anael reminded me of Cas. _“[T]he rebel, the angel who doesn’t like playing by Heaven’s rules”_ , who only wants _“[l]ove, to belong, to have a place – a home, a family”_ , how _“very very human”_ of him. And Michael thinks of Anael as as sad, lost, fallen thing, not worth saving either, which means he will see Cas like that as well, or thinks of him as even worse, considering Cas is much closer to humans as Anael, and sees them as his family. Michael has no intention to create new angels and he might even kill a few of the ones still existing (though he didn’t kill Anael, and probably Jamil neither), so there is a big chance heaven will start to fall and with it all the souls it contains.

Michael also said that he knew about Anael’s deepest desires because Dean knew about it – but how could have Dean known? He only met Anael once and I doubt she told him about it.

So in the end Michael turns to monsters, because unlike humans, angels or demons, they are pure in their desires.

**Some other things**

  * Loved the super weapons they created. Colt who?


  * I wonder what role Maggie will play. She seemed pretty freaked out the entire episode and I wondered why they took her on the Cas rescue mission. She doesn’t seem to be an experienced hunter, not more than Jack, who they argued about taking him with them or not. Will Maggie turn to Michael? Will she think they can’t fight him, so she turns to him for protection? Or (and please not) is she going to be Jack’s love interest?


  * Speaking of Jack, I loved his little jogging suit and his socks and the sneakers. Much cute, do approve!


  * And seeing Bobby without a hat was weird. Who knew he had hair?


  * Also technically Bobby and Mary are over 30 years apart, and I know the show kinda makes Mary appear older, because she is the mom, and Bobby is the dad character (or at least our Bobby was), but I’m not sure I like it (yet).


  * It’s been three weeks since 13x23, which… isn’t that long. And Dean probably will be back by episode 3. *sigh*


  * Loved that bonding moment between Cas & Jack. Cas knows a thing or two about losing your powers, about associating your value to these powers and that your family will love you, no matter what.


  * _“And, two, how is it that you lost Dean? I thought the two of you were joined at the…  you know… everything.”_ – EVERYBODY KNOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



 Until next week <3


	2. Thoughts about Spn 14x02

**Thoughts about Spn 14x02**

**SPOILERS AHEAD! BEWARE!**

A bit later, but man what an episode. I really liked it a lot, more than the season opener, and there is lots to talk about. The plot, just as in 14x01, was kinda there, but not worth getting into, because all in all not much happened. Considering this season contains 3 episodes less than usual, it is interesting to see how much time so far has been spent on setting up the characters instead of moving forward the plot. What made this episode were the character moments, and they had lots of them, and I really liked that instead of Sam and Dean (or Michael) our focus was this time on Cas, Jack and Nick.

One of the things I usually criticize Bucklemming for is their handling of the plot, because a lot of their episodes in the past had been crammed with plot, hardly allowing the characters (and the audience) to breathe. They did the exact opposite this time, taking out the speed, making a character driven episode, and now I wonder if this is where their actual strength is (and hoping we get more episodes like this from them in the future). I know I had in the past expressed my fair share of criticism of Bucklemming, though I try to be objective, but this time I really think both the writing and the acting is what made it such an excellent episode.

But, as always, let’s take a closer look.

**Of monsters and men**

> _“That’s not a man. That’s a monster. That’s a monster, and then – and then Lucifer found me and made me a monster, too.”_

If you have read my review for the last episode you know that I wasn’t pleased to see Nick return. Part of that is my personal dislike for Mark Pellegrino. There are a lot of shows that I watch where I know little to nothing about the actors in it, with Supernatural however the actors and their actions are always part of my radar, and I admittedly have a hard time watching an actor/actress that I dislike for very personal reasons. That being said, Mark Pellegrino did a really good job in this episode, and a rather see him as Nick than as Lucifer. I also liked the direction where the Nick storyline is headed, which might be a bit of foretelling of what Dean will go through now that Michael has left (*Thor voice*: Is he though?).

The great question the episode asks is that of monsters and men, if Nick is one or the other, or maybe both. The story goes back to what little we know about Nick – a man who has lost his wife and son in the most horrible way and drowning in grief said yes to Lucifer, to get some sense of justice. It seems though that at first Nick didn’t even remember what happened and why he said yes, until Cas reminded him. Then however he becomes obsessed with the idea of finding out who killed his family. I don’t think we can blame him for wanting to find out the truth, however I think Cas already suspects that something might be wrong with Nick. He still uses Lucifer’s mannerisms, apparently unaware of it. Later he asks what Nick will do when he finds out who did it, perhaps already suspecting Nick might do something horribly, something Lucifer would have done.

And then we had the end scene with Nick’s confrontation with Arty and him murdering Arty, with the same weapon Nick’s family was killed. This is the first clue that Nick might have killed his own family. The others are that there was no evidence (no DNA, no fingerprints, because the murderer never had left), and that Arty said that there was no man. There are two versions here that could be true. In one Nick was innocent and a victim and what he did in the end was due to Lucifer’s influence on him. He was a man who became a monster. In the other version Nick had always been a monster, had killed his own family, and then supressed the memory so much that he believed a man had done it.

Personally I did like this twist. Everyone is convinced that Nick is a victim, Cas even admits that only because of it he can bear to be near Nick. Nick has convinced himself he is a victim, or rather Lucifer did. Lucifer did turn the narrative around, he made the killer into the victim, which would allow himself to become his vessel. Michael as well turns the narrative around, offering a world where the hunted become the hunters. It is, purposely or not, a comment to our current political climate, where offenders claim to be the actual victims, and victims are afraid to tell the truth, because there will be the ones to be blamed. It would fit Lucifer to see a man who had killed his wife and son and say, no look, you are the actual victim here, all why wearing the face of the dead wife.

**Days of Future Past**

> _“The past, where you came from, that’s important, but it is not as important as the future and where you’re going.”_

I have a lot of feelings and they all taste like Nougat. Jack is still on his journey to accept his human self, but instead of improving his human skills he tries to find out when his grace will come back, thinking it is the only thing that is useful about him. Cas of course can relate, because Jack’s future is Cas’s past. And he gives some excellent advice.

> _“But I had something else that was extremely helpful. I had myself. Just the basic me, as, uh as Dean would say, without all the bells and whistles.”_

Cas needed to learn to rely on himself, and that is a great lesson, in and outside the show. To find strength in yourself, even at times where you seemingly have lost everything. Both Cas and Jack had learned to associate their value with their powers, fearing that without them they are useless. And even when Cas says he had Sam and Dean, we know it is not entirely true. Cas was for some time completely alone, without his powers, and some very basic understanding of the human world. And yet he survived and it made him stronger, and all in all it did help him to become the person he is today, someone who has learned from his past, but doesn’t let the past define himself.

Last season the focus was all on Jack being Lucifer’s son, and what influence his father might have on him, and what he would do with his powers. Now without powers Jack turns to his human side and gets to know his mother’s family. I am so grateful the show doesn’t forget Kelly, and her sacrifice and how much she means to Jack. It saddens me that her parents will never know what happened to her, will never know who Jack really is, that they can never find real closure. And it is interesting that Jack describes them as the only real family he has left. Does that mean he no longer sees Sam, Dean and Cas as his family?

And then of course we have the conversation between Cas and Jack, concerning Dean and what will happen to him. Jack argues that Michael should be stopped at all costs, even if it costs Dean’s life, because that is what Dean would have wanted, rather than seeing Michael destroying another world. Cas of course argues against it, and it is evident how surprised and hurt he is by Jack’s word. And yet, a couple years ago, Cas was not much different, and would have agreed that one human life doesn’t weigh more than the entire world. Of course Cas has a much deeper emotional investment in Dean than Jack. Jack does care about Dean, but he has witnessed a world that Michael had already destroyed. Again, Cas’s past is Jack’s future. Jack is still at the beginning of the journey Cas has been on for years now.

**Man in the Mirror**

> _“Why be the hunted when you can be the hunter?”_

The Michael aka Dinkle storyline was the least interesting to me. Then again I am generally not a big fan of the Michael!Dean development. Michael follows his plan from last episode, choosing monsters as the ones worth saving, as they are pure. (What ever happened to Jo after her call to Sam? What did she see, what did she tell Sam?) He experiments on vampires and then turns to werewolves, and in the end it seemed he found out how to make monsters stronger. Plotwise it means that the monsters the Winchesters will face in the near future will become more interesting again, as they can be no longer killed the way they used to before. The big question is however: Where is Michael?

It is possible Michael did leave Dean, and found himself a new vessel (can werewolves become vessels? They are technical still human). But it would involve a lot or trouble and Dean is after all his perfect vessel, so why leave? The other (more popular) theory is that Michael is still inside Dean, dormant for now, and will show himself in time. This way he would have access to all kind of weapons and information at the MoL bunker. If Michael simply left it would seem a bit anti-climatic, especially as he had no reason to do so, so now we have to wait for the other shoe to drop.

**Some other things**

  * New Bobby isn’t like our Bobby, and this was most evident when he wanted to kill the young vampire lady. He operates much more black and white, whereas Sam and Dean have for years now operated in grey areas. This will cause some conflict in the future.


  * Nick accuses Cas to be no different than Lucifer, and yet Cas couldn’t be more different than Lucifer. Lucifer never cared about anyone but himself, whereas Cas cares so much about everyone his heart is bleeding out from it. And with all the horrible things he has done, much of it to heaven and other angels, his biggest regret is still what happened to Jimmy and his family.


  * That being sad Cas is the worst babysitter. Both Jack and Nick left the bunker, one at a great risk of his own life, the other a great risk to everyone else. Please hire Steve Harrington next time.



 Until next week <3


	3. Thoughts about Spn 14x03

**Thoughts about Spn 14x03**

**SPOILERS AHEAD! BEWARE!**

Soooooooooooooooo, another great episode. This week I think the balance between character focus and plot was more equal, after two very character driven episode. Though I do like the slow development of the plot so far. There are two minor things I want to complain about: first I wished we would have seen more of the Wayward Girls, aka Claire, Patience and Alex, instead of just mentioning them. Second: CAS AND JODY STILL HAVEN’T MET! How is that even possible? But maybe we should be careful for what we wish for, because we demanded for years for Cas and Charlie to meet and when they finally did Charlie died an episode later.

Anyway. There is a lot to unpack again, so as always, let’s take a closer look.

**Angry AF**

 

> _Hey, I didn’t mean…  I didn’t mean to be a dick._

So let’s start with the man of the hour: Dean. Oh how we missed you and your snark (btw I love Sam’s beard and so does Jody, and that is really all that matters). There is a whole lot of unanswered question concerning Michael and the episode doesn’t even try to answer them, because as for now they are not important. Important is Dean and what Michael did to him. Dean is, as other Kaia noted, scared, but to him fear translates into anger, because that is the only way he has learned to deal with it. He acts like a man possessed (oh the irony), and wants to skip to the end of the story where he kills Michael. Which is such an interesting meta commentary, because the show tells us that it will take some time until we get some answers, that both Dean and the audience have to muddle through what this possession made of him, until we get the big showdown. This is really just the start, and we can’t skip ahead to the end. And this makes me think we might get entire season that is more interested in its characters than the plot, than instead of the multiple story arcs we had in prior season we really just get one big story this season and that it takes some time to tell it. Which makes me really excited.

The most interesting part to me was Dean’s confrontation with the other Kaia. She noted the similarities between Dean and Michael, how they both run on threats and violence. And the episode before already asked us the question if the connection between angel and vessel isn’t just the bloodline, but a similarity in character as well. 14x02 left it open for interpretation if it was Nick who had killed his family, if he might have been a monster even before Lucifer made him one. This week we saw how very alike Dean and Michael are, at least from Kaia and other Kaia’s perspective. Kaia experienced Dean as a violent man, as someone she was afraid of. We do know that while Dean has a dark side that there is more to him, we do get the full picture, whereas Kaia only saw a glimpse. Is it possible than that (arch)angels feed on the worst version of their vessels? Or simply bring out the features similar to them? Michael and Lucifer then, sinister creatures, fed on both Nick and Michael’s dark side, whereas Cas, the angel with too much heart, was influenced by Jimmy’s kindness and his wish to do the right thing? I always found the relationship between vessels and angels very interesting and it seems this season will give us a few new insides on it.

The other thing that has changed is of course Dean’s home, the bunker. Naturally Dean will need some time to get used to all the people there, and that they see Sam as their leader. In contrast to that the scene where Dean commanded Cas to get in his head seemed almost intimate, just the core three of them. And speaking of Cas, it seemed to me that there was some sort of distance between Dean and Cas, despite Dean allowing Cas to get in his head. There was no reunion hug (Jack got one), and Dean was very quick to agree that Cas should look after Lora. It was like Dean tried to put some walls up, but then he did the same thing around Sam, so it might not be specific related to Cas. I’m curious to see how their next interaction will be.

There is also still the mystery of the spear, what it is exactly and why it could hurt Michael (and possibly kill him). Do Archangels exist in every universe and could that been an Archangel weapon? How did other Kaia got it? And what is her plan/motivation?

Also, the modified vampires knew that Dean was Dean again, and no longer Michael, so can monsters sense angels? (Was that mentioned at some point?)

We end the episode with Dean once again drowning in guilt, thinking it is his fault alone that Michael got the chance to hurt people. Guilty Dean is known for not always making the best choices, so we have to wait to see where this gets us.

**Wayward AF**

 

> _I just feel like I sort of already lost before I ever began._

As I mentioned before I wish we would have seen more of the Wayward Girls, because I love their interactions, both with Jody and each other, but I take what I can get. The Wayward story is now intervened with the Michael story through other Kaia and her weapon. I don’t think that was the original plan for Wayward Sisters, as they probably would have a myth-arc independent from Supernatural, but this way it means we are definitely going to see them again, and they will (hopefully) play a bigger role this season. And Jody and Cas might actually meet, though it seemed on the phone like they do know each other (though it is possible they only know each through phone conversations, because I do hope they didn’t had their first meeting off camera already).

One of the big things we can take away from this episode is that Dreamhunter has been confirmed canon. I think Bobo confirmed after 13x10 that Dreamhunter is definitely a thing, but still it is good it is canon now, especially as it wasn’t necessary for the plot to make them romantic. Claire’s guilt over Kaia could be still as intense without her having romantic feelings, but they still went there. Which I will use to talk briefly about Destiel, because we can’t talk about the one without the other. Or we could have if Wayward Sisters would have become its own show, because then Dreamhunter would have no longer be related to Destiel, as they would have both appeared on separate shows. And sure the CW has a thing for spin-offs or shows that share the same universe (Arrowverse) but those shows usually don’t parallel each other. But unfortunately Wayward Sisters isn’t its own show, but for now part of Supernatural, and because of that Dreamhunter do mirror Destiel. And Bobo knows that because he put in those parallels deliberate in 13x10, and Dabb knows it as well, so I take that as a win on the Destiel front.

I liked that we got to know other Kaia a bit better. She is not a monster, and she might even become an ally to the Winchesters and their fight against Michael. I wonder though why she wanted to kill Claire. She confirms that she and our Kaia were connected, because they were both Dreamwalkers. Does that mean she was aware of what our Kaia felt for Claire? And if so, why would she kill Claire? What is her goal? There are too many questions surrounding her character for her not to come back, and I do hope we will see Claire again and her reaction to other Kaia.

And lastly, that quote of Jody I put up there: in show Jody talks about her grief about losing Kaia before she even got to know her, but from outside this is Bobo talking about losing his show before it even started, about the characters he loves so much, and the meaningful stories they were meant to tell us. Those lines and Kim acting them so brilliantly was a huge F*ck You towards the CW, showing us the kind of depth Wayward Sisters could have had, and making me longing for this show even more. I hope they shove in as much of Wayward Sisters into the show as they can, but I’m still very bitter about everything we could have had and that we don’t get to see.

**Nougat AF**

 

> _Well what you did today, you just made me so proud._

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww Jack (that is just my usual reaction whenever I see him). Seems like he didn’t listen at all when Cas told him last episode to find value in his own, but never mind, this week’s case will do the trick. Obviously Lora functioned as a Jack mirror in a not that subtle way. She ran away from home, because she was sick of being treated as a child, the same way Jack planed to leave, because of how Sam, Dean and Cas have treated him. So far the mirror works. But then Lora met a witch, a witch that was at first kind, but then she locked her up, and started to steal her youth, which then resulted in Lora’s (temporally) death. We know that Sam, Dean and Cas have been kind to Jack, have fed him, and also currently locked him up for his own safety. And in the end Jack starts to wither away in some way, the way Lora did. But it wouldn’t make a lot of sense if Sam, Dean and Cas would be the witch in this story, so who is? Someone we already met or someone in the future? Why is Jack’s health deteriorating? Is it a result of the spell the witch used on Lora? Does it have other origins? And how can we help him? Just after jack realized that he can help other people without his powers, that there are many ways to be useful, after Cas offered him a hunting trip. I can’t deal with Jack being sick, he is my sweet Nougat child.

**Some other things:**

  * Speaking of Jack, he referred to Cas as one of his dads, contracting the statement from last week that Kelly’s family is the only real family he has left. But also, from Lora’s perspective, who doesn’t know who or what Jack is and his relationship to the Winchesters, this sounds like Jack has two gay dads… which you know is actually true.


  * I love that the show didn’t forget about Sam’s weird obsession with serial killers.


  * They have a bottom drawer marked “gross stuff”. Of course they have.


  * Obviously Posh Spice is Michael’s favourite Spice Girl.



**Edit:** As [@venusdebotticelli](https://tmblr.co/mzRb-zBiW9PdcRN5OsOI0Kw) was so kind to point out, of course Lucifer would work in the Lora/Jack-parallel as Jack’s witch. Lucifer, who had been kind to Jack, until he wasn’t and stole away Jack’s life force, his grace. So is Jack coughing blood the same as Lora withering away? Which would mean it is related to him losing his grace. We know that angels can survive losing their grace, they become human instead. But as it seems Nephilims need their grace in order to survive. And if this is different, maybe Nephilims can’t recharge their grace either the way angels can.


	4. Thoughts about Spn 14x04

**Thoughts about Spn 14x04**

**BEWARE! SPOILERS AHEAD!**

A bit later than usual, but here we go. I liked the episode a lot, mostly because of the giant meta commentary it was and all the little nods to geek culture. And of course Dean being a giant nerd as well, seeing him more or less happy. One might even say he appears to be in… mint condition ;)

But before I torture you with more terrible puns, let’s have a closer look.

**Wonder Twins**

This episode worked a lot with mirrors and they aren’t subtle about it. Both Sam and Dean even directly address who they think is the mirror to their brother. So we have Sam and Sam, and Dean and Dirk, but as there is a third friend involved this would make Stuart a mirror for Cas. Except that Stuart is a dick and Cas is not. So I think this mirror works rather in the way we see both Sam and Dirk’s relationship with Stuart. They are both very protective of him, defend him, and care deeply about him, even though others might not see what they see in Stuart. Cas of course can be at times a bit “rusty” at his people skills, and appears to be offensive, though it is because well… he is a different species. It is also obvious that Dirk is a bit closer to Stuart, as he stays with him in the hospital, wanting to be there when Stuart wakes up. Dirk describes Stuart as his best friend, that they hang out and eat pizzas while they watch movies, and Dirk regularly fights with his dad. It is Cas and Dean all over. Sam and Sam share… well, their name, their hairstyle, their love for flannel, and are secret science nerds.

**Art imitates life, life imitates art**

As I wrote before this episode is like one big meta commentary. The episode centers around the Hatchet Man movie series. Both Dean and Dirk are big fans, discussing their favourite movies. What is interesting is that they both name sequels as their favourite movie of the series. Neither mentions the first movie, or says that with each sequel the series got worse, the way a lot of movie series are criticized. I think this might be a meta commentary on _Supernatural_ itself, which by now is in a way a sequel. If we take each showrunner’s run or even each season as an individual movie, _Supernatural_ by now  has produced respective 4 or 14 movies. And we have all seen those kind of comments where people complain that _Supernatural_ should have ended after its fifth season (and the first showrunner), that it keeps getting worse with every season, even though a lot of these people haven’t seen the show in years. But sequels don’t have to be bad all the time; their emotional payoff is different because you have been invested in these characters for years, because you have seen them changed, because _Supernatural_ has by now become its own cosmos, that can easily tell stories build on their own history.

Then Dirk and Dean reenact their favourite movie in striking detail, even though they called out movie logic before. But the hospital is really that empty by night, Dirk does act stupid and leaves the salt circle, because horror movies depend on people acting stupid, the security guards are complete oblivious to what is going etc.  Dean of course would know that horror movies are often way more realistic than people think, because he is living in one. And that brings me to yet another thing: Dean’s love for horror movies and Sam’s dislike for them. And both are grounded in the same thing: that their life is like a horror movie. Sam doesn’t need the fictional version of it, it hits too close to home. Dean however likes them, because unlike his own life, these movies follow a script and the good guys will always win in the end. There is a certain kind of control in them, because Dean knows how genre works, how tropes work, that everything will be fine in the end. The irony of course is that _Supernatural_ follows the same script, that it doesn’t matter if the Winchesters die again, because we know they will come back (just like Hatchet man keeps coming back from the dead). Every story follows a certain set by rules (even when they break those rules), and we all at times wish our own lives would be more like a movie, because at least then we would know what is going to happen next.

This is also only the third episode ever that takes place on Halloween, after 1x01 and 4x07 (as someone who both loves Halloween and Halloween themed episode I am appalled). And similar to their respective love and dislike for horror movies, we have Dean who likes Halloween and Sam who doesn’t. We later get the reason for that from Sam, and for this show’s standard it is strangely un-tragic. However I never wondered why Sam doesn’t like Halloween, I always thought it was because his mother died two days later (also, [according to the trailer](https://justanotheridijiton.tumblr.com/post/179707979829/supernatural-14x04-the-story-of-the-hatchet) we saw Hatchet man died on October 31st 1983, so two days before the real Mary died). So it is possible Sam only made the story up to get Dean to shut up. Also, among all the matching Halloween costumes Dean mentions two represent gay couples: Ernie and Bert & Thelma and Louise. Both have also been mentioned in 5x03 towards Cas (who didn’t catch the clue because he would be immune to popcultural references back then). But the moment he mentions them to Sam all we get is a “that’s weird”. Because it is. Please don’t confuse your brother with your boyfriend, Dean.

**Some other things:**

  * I love the trope of a villain being unrecognized because everyone thinks they wear a Halloween costume.


  * Overall Dean seemed very happy and very in his element this episode. We wore bright colours, a short-sleeved shirt, even glasses. He didn’t hide his love for all the geeky things in the comic book shop. He wore novelty socks. He switched the mugs to get the _Flash_ mug. I love seeing Dean like this.


  * _“Got to love the Internet, where everyone can be a dick.”_ – I think this one is self-explanatory.



Until next week <3


	5. Thoughts about Spn 14x05

**Thoughts about Spn 14x05**

**BEWARE! SPOILERS AHEAD!**

Another episode, and just like that we have already passed a quarter of the current season. Huh. We continue with our slow tempo, that I personally like. With the upgraded monsters the show found a way to still give is Motw-episodes, that are at the same time connected to the Myth-arc, and also to raise the stakes for our hunters, because the usual tricks don’t work anymore. It is a simply but clever trick, and so far it works very well.

But, as always, let’s take a closer look at the episode.

**Camp Winchester**

This week we got a little more inside how things work now at the bunker. Sam is still in charge, and we learn that the hunters call in and wear cameras to document their hunts (and to make it easier to locate them if something goes wrong). They are all great ideas, though I would have wished the buddy system they later install would have been part from the beginning (but then it was necessary for Maggie to be alone for the premise of the episode).

I feel like this is what the bunker was meant to be (and imagine the MoL would know hunters are using their sacred place). It was always to huge for Sam and Dean alone and it was a waste that all the lore and weapons should only belong to them, instead of sharing it with others. They build up a hunter community, something that we have seen in season 2 with Ellen and Jo, and later again in season 12 at Asa’s funeral and when they took down the British MoL. What is interesting is that Sam and Dean had never been a part of the hunter community, because their dad never was. The closest was Bobby and his network of hunters. But I’m glad they are now, because unity is what makes them stronger.

What is interesting though is that none of them had been hunters before. They survived a war, where they had to face monsters, but still they are not hunters, with the exception of Bobby. So why would they choose to become hunters now that they could live in peace? Have they seen too much? I expect that some of them would but all? (Though it is possible some of the people they rescued from the other universe live normal lives now.) And especially Maggie seemed so uncomfortable in 14x01, that I was surprised to see her hunting this episode. (But yeah for the group hug she gets at the end.)

I also wonder if Dean in time will move out? This is endgame speculation, but Dean always saw the bunker as his home, not a workstation, the way Sam did. And Dean is proud of Sam, proud of what he built up. And maybe he follows his own advice and lets go, lets Sam lives his life, and tries to find his own peace somewhere else (with someone else?).

**Fear and Loathing in Claremore, Oklahoma**

The concept of characters who have to face their own worst fears isn’t new to Supernatural, and neither are Djinns. However, while they all have been infected and started to hallucinate, I think only Bobby saw his own worst nightmare, his dead son. Both Sam and Dean (and Sasha) faced rather random monsters. And yet everyone had to face something they are afraid of. Sam had to face his fear that he might not be good enough as a leader, that he miscalculated when he sent Maggie on a solo hunt, and that she might be dead because of him. Dean finds the dead hunter, confronting his fear that he might end like this, dying alone on a hunt, but also that he is responsible for that death, because of what Michael did. I think Sasha’s fear wasn’t so much the vampire, but perhaps the attic – maybe this is where she found her mother.

Bobby’s very harsh judgement of Sam becomes more weight once we learn about his past. He sees himself in Sam – a leader, responsible for the life of others, and fears that what happened to his son might happen to Maggie, that Sam sent her to death the way Bobby thinks he did with Daniel. What is interesting is that Bobby later reveals that they never found a body, that he doesn’t know what happened to his son. But when he faced Daniel, his son listed all the gruesome details of his death, so that was entirely what Bobby imagined had happened to him. Also Mary couldn’t kill him, it was only Bobby who could.

It is implied that new Bobby had the same fear as our Bobby, that because of their messed up childhood they wouldn’t be made to become fathers. And yet they both had children (even though Sam forgot that our Bobby had two adopted sons). But this new Bobby had to deal with the loss of his child. It is clear that he suffers from survivor’s guilt, that he had already accepted death, but as fate would have he lives on, bearing the pain of Daniel’s death with him.

Mary, to some degree, can relate. Her own sons are hunters, she lives in constant fear something might happen to them. Still, the closest character in our universe to new Bobby would be Jody, who lost her child as well.

**Mirror, mirror**

Ok, _Supernatural_ has always loved it mirrors and parallels, but this season they don’t even try to be subtle about it. So, Mary & Bobby = Dean & Cas. Starting with their outfits, Mary confiding in Sam about her love life (Sam of course would know about miscommunicating couples), and then we have person A with the walls build up, who doesn’t let anyone in, until person B comes along. And Mary bandaging Bobby, talking about their feelings, before they leave for a trip to a cosy cabin – I kid you not, but this read as the most clichéd Destiel FanFic ever. I love it.

The other big mirror would be John. He is textually mentioned by Mary, and later mirrored by Sasha’s father, who she describes as “textbook workaholic with toxic narcissistic tendencies”, and someone she worshipped as a child. Of course Dean can relate. And for once he tries to follow his own advice and lets the past go.

But this is the second John mirror in a row – last episode we had David Yaeger (a mirror that I missed but others fortunately not). This makes me wonder if we are going to see John again in some sort of way? Especially as this episode focused a lot on fatherhood, both from Bobby’s and Sasha’s perspective. Is this the big surprise for episode 300? (Personally I’m not interested in bringing John back, unlike of course they use it to tell him what a horrible father he was.)

And lastly Michael (who of course is another John mirror). The Djinn didn’t recognize that Dean was Dean again, the vampires in 14x03 however did, because they immediately attacked him. Also, the big question, what did the Djinn saw? What are Dean’s nightmares? Or was there something else he saw? And was it just me or did kill Dean the Djinn unusually aggressive?

**Some other things**

  * Dean wants Mary to be happy. My heart <3


  * GARTH!!!!!




	6. Thoughts about Spn 14x06

**Thoughts about Spn 14x06**

**BEWARE! SPOILERS AHEAD!**

So, I finally come around to watch this episode and liked it a lot (what’s with this season? So much to love? Not that I complain). The pacing was again slower, the Michael plot for once paused (Dean & Jack both blaming themselves doesn’t count), and this was more about our characters and I think what kind of future they want/we might see. There is a lot to talk about, so without further ado, let’s take a closer look.

**Killer Queen**

We start the episode with Dean and Jack and some father-son-bonding time. Both men blame themselves for what happened with Michael, and Jack copes the same way as his three dads: by distracting himself with a hunt, in order to feel useful again. But if anything this episode is about the struggles to stay optimistic, to leave your past behind you, and to try to create a better future.

Soon enough Jack finds a case for them, and they find themselves in a romance novel. And Dean of course knows what to do, knows exactly what Jack needs to say in order to have Harper fall for him (though the “old man” was not part of the script), because he knows the genre. And this isn’t based on his experience on flirting with women, at least not entirely, because as 14x04 showed us real life doesn’t work like the movies (the good guys don’t always win). Dean knows this because he has read enough romance novels and watched enough chick flicks to make Harper feel like she is in one. And Dean knows he is too old for Harper as well. This is no longer his role.

And then the genre seemingly changes: the victim as it turns out is the villain, and what looks like romance becomes horror. Except for Harper. She still believes she is part of a romance, even at the end, after Vance was put to rest, and she changes her story to make Jack her new love interest instead. And that is her flaw, her inability to realize in which genre she is (horror) and to act accordingly. Her bad luck is due to her refusing to play her role. The moment she killed her boyfriend the genre changed, the romance became horror, but Harper continued to play her old role.

Could this mean for our characters the only way to succeed is to accept their new roles? Could it be that for some their genre changes as well, from horror this time to romance? We will see.

And of course we have to talk about “the sex” (5x12 says hi). I don’t think it is weird that Jack seems interested. I don’t think of him as a child, and his interest in sex shows us that he no longer is one. I rather see him as a teenager or a young adult. Also, his interest in sex only started after he became human, and after a woman made the first move. Very similar to Cas, who only developed interest in sex after he became human, and a woman showed interest in him (9x03). And just as Cas Jack has a different sense of taste now that he no longer has his grace.

And then we have a restaurant called “Dick’s Red Rooster Diner”, a waitress saying _“Sometimes you just have the sex”_ and next thing we see Dean pushing away a cock. That’s pretty gay. And not very subtle. (I love it.)

AND NOW SOMEONE PLEASE HELP MY SMOL NOUGAT SON!!!

(On that note, Dean mentioned that they never know what to write in an obituary when a young guy dies (not that Jack is going to die), but that made me realize that Dean is no longer a young guy. He had a full live, and by now lived longer than most hunters I suppose. Which is actually a good thing.)

**Should I Stay Or Should I Go**

Charlie gave me a lot of feelings this episode, because she is in so many ways not our Charlie, and kudos to Felicia for nailing that. There is an awkward tension between Sam and this new Charlie, because they share no history. They might have worked together while Michael had possessed Dean, but they are not what Sam and our Charlie were. And even then it was Dean who was much closer to her (and now I want new Charlie interacting with Dean). And Sam can’t help comparing this Charlie with our Charlie, which is natural (and something the audience does as well), but rather hurtful to Charlie.

One of the biggest differences between our Charlie and this Charlie is that she had a long term relationship with a woman named Kara, that she lost during the apocalypse. Charlie says that her relationship with Kara was like something out of a storybook, but once again the romance changed to horror, though Charlie unlike Harper learned to adapt. Our Charlie wanted to become a hunter, whereas this Charlie had to become one in order to survive. And a lot of the optimistic nature that we know from our Charlie is gone here.

Because Sam and Dean might live in a horror story, but the world around them doesn’t, because they helped preventing that. Charlie and the other hunters however lived through the apocalypse and apart from having to battle monsters, they saw the worst of humanity. Charlie’s fundamental trust in other people, and that they can be good, is broken. Her optimism is gone. She struggles to find value in her job as a hunter, because it is hard to save people when you’ve seen the worst of them.

Sam tries to convince her not to stop hunting and leaving their community. Sam however wanted to leave the hunter life behind more than once, and therefore he should respect her wishes. I think this was more about him than her. Sam has found a new value in his job, in the community he has build, and one that I think works independent from Dean. And this might hints where Sam’s endgame is headed, that he projects his own wishes onto Charlie.

And then there is Sam’s genuine faith in other people, that if you are kind to others and help them, they will be kind in return (did Misha co-wrote this episode?). It is his brand of optimism. However Charlie’s description of how awful things were, once people were out of power and food, and that it is not much a matter of if then when it might happen here, makes we wonder if we see a similar situation in our world as well, if this might be part of Michael’s plan.

And one last talk about the Musca. I think for Supernatural they were quite weird, because most monsters we know can disguise themselves to look human. And of course we are now in the season where the characters explain the parallels for us, though Charlie was right, Sam’s metaphor has some holes. We learn that very rarely male Muscas fail to find a mate and the leave their community. I wonder if that in terms of a possible endgame means that both Sam and Dean have to find a romantic partner in order to be truly happy? That reading at least makes the most sense to me, otherwise it is just very discriminating against Muscas who just prefer to be single.

**Some other things:**

\- Come on Winston, everyone knows “ _Stayin’ alive_ ” is a bad omen.

\- Dean watches Riverdale. Knew it.

\- THE RETURN OF “CHRISTO”.

And that’s it. Until next week.


	7. Thoughts about Spn 14x07

**Thoughts about Spn 14x07**

**BEWARE! SPOILERS AHEAD!**

Ugh, what an episode. Alternative title: Tears in my porridge (I was watching it during breakfast). There was a lot going on, in both storylines, though my brief interest in Nick that I had in 14x02 vanished again. There were again lots of parallels, and lots to speculate about regarding future storylines. The character moments were again the strength of the episode, whereas the actual plot unfortunately follows well known pattern.

But, as always, let’s take a closer look.

**“And even if it wasn’t you it was still you.”**

So Nick. This is basically a continuation of where 14x02 ended, making his storyline this season so far entirely BuckLemming’s toy, who seem also the only ones enjoying still writing about him. Nick is still obsessed with the murder of his family and by now he has developed an actual need to kill. The murder of the padre in the teaser didn’t happen in affect, not the way the victim was arranged. The encounter with the young woman was only there to remind us of Nick’s new taste for blood. Unlike his other victims she was in no way related to his family and that was the only thing that saved her in the end. Frank Kellog was always going to die, even though Nick understood that he wasn’t to blame. But we learn who had killed Nick’s family, destroying the theory Nick had done it himself, and that he was already a monster before Lucifer made him one. And with this everything that he is doing now is painted as an after-effect of Lucifer’s possession. But also as Lucifer being the one who set him free, and the believe that they are bonded. So even if Nick didn’t kill his own family, it suggests that he had the potential to become a killer all along, and that that might be the reason Lucifer chose him. Which is a big parallel to 7x15 and Jeffrey and his demon. (Which back then was a dark mirror to Dean & Cas, who of course have their very own bond)

There were some heavy parallels to John as well. Nick admits that he was drunk the night his family was murdered; John had passed out (assumingly drunk) on the sofa the night Mary died. Both got obsessed with the murder of their loved ones and getting revenge, believing that once their families get justice their personal demons will disappear. Echoes of John had been all over the season so far, and we see them as well in the Dean & Jack storyline of this episode. Which makes me quite sure we will see John return in one way or another (maybe episode 300). Not that I’m looking forward to it, because as by now you should all know my feelings about John.

We also learn about Abraxas, who apparently had killed Nick’s family. Which would lead to the question: Why? To get Nick to the point where he would say “yes” to Lucifer? Was he acting on Lucifer’s orders?

And again the nature between angel and vessel is questioned. Nick still kills Kellog, because even it wasn’t him it was still him. He still remembers what Lucifer did with his body and feels bonded to him. And Dean still blames himself for everything Michael did.

I am not very pleased to see Lucifer potentially resurrected. I am more than done with his storyline, and the only way it would make sense is if they tie it together with Jack’s storyline, with Lucifer’s grace being what he needs to get cured. But really, I don’t want to. I am so, so, so, sooooooooooooooo tired of Lucifer.

**“What did you say your relationship is to the patient?”**

And now to a lot of heartbreak. And sadness. Welcome to _Supernatural_.

I found their trip to the hospital so interesting because we hardly ever see them there. Ever since Cas became part of the family he usually heals them, but Cas can’t help this time and it shows their desperation when they think human doctors can. And then it is a visit to reality from their own little universe, because both Sam and Dean are legally dead and Cas and Jack aren’t even human. A place like a hospital seems so strange because they don’t belong in it. And then it is mostly Sam who answers the questions, Dean being to shocked. Sam who gives Jack his family name (and for a moment I thought Dean would say “Winchester”), who remembers his date of birth (which was also the day they lost Mary and Cas). Sam remains cool in a way Dean can’t, which reminds me also of the time Bobby was in a hospital (and then he died).

They soon realize that nobody there can help Jack and they return to their world and Dean admits that he had been worried about Jack ever since he became human, but that he also thought Jack might get hurt/killed during a hunt. He didn’t consider that Jack could get ill, because that is not how hunters usually die. Which reminded me a bit of Buffy and how her mother died, because in a world full of mothers it had seem utterly mundane, and left her so helpless, because it wasn’t just another monster she could kill.

I love that Rowena immediately came when she thought Dean was in danger, which tells a lot about her relationship with him and the Winchesters in general. And yeah, Rowena did know before about Jack, but she never met him and nobody can blame her for suspecting he is just like his father. And it takes one minute of Jack talking to her and she melts. The Nougat-effect.

I also found it interesting what Rowena told us about Jack – that, as a Nephilim, he is an unnatural thing. He wasn’t meant to be and yet he is still here. And what makes him special is in the end necessary for his survival. Kelly was instinctively right about her son – without his grace he is no longer himself. Which could be read as a metaphor for other “special” children – that if you take away from them what makes them special or to some maybe unnatural they are no longer themselves – or in Jack’s case they even start to die. [There are some who read Jack as autistic](http://nerdylittleshit.tumblr.com/post/180324762942/kingofthecrxssroads-autistic-jack-kline), and he has always been labelled as other, from both humans and angels.

Cas on the other hand is willing to give up his grace in a heartbeat if it could save Jack. Cas no longer cares about his grace or his angelhood. He is ready to give it up to save his newfound family.

So, let’s talk a bit about Dean and Jack. Dean, on some level, understands what Jack is going through. He remembers that many moons ago he had only one year left to live and that he wanted to make the most out of it, so he doesn’t argue with Jack there. He understands that Jack needs this. But of course he also looks at Jack from a father’s perspective, because that is closest to describe their relationship. And Dean knows about losing a child – he had raised Sam after all, who nearly died while doing the trials to close hell. So Dean gets it, from every angle, but it is still different, perhaps in the way Jack responds to Dean. Because Sam never saw Dean as his father and only realized as an adult how much Dean had done for him. But Jack adores Dean, he wants his approval, he wants to be like Dean. And so Dean does what he wanted his father to do with him: he lets Jack drive, gives him the responsibility for his most treasured possession, and with that he marks him as a man, as an equal. But Jack shows that he does understand Dean as well – Dean might never said that the memory of his father fishing with him was his happiest memory of him, but Jack understood it anyway. That life is about the time you spend together, something John so rarely did with his sons, but that Dean gets. As I said the echo of John is all over the season, but it is interesting to see how the villain of the episode (Nick) resembles John so much, whereas John’s own son tries to become a better father than him.

I don’t know what to make of Sergei and if we ever see him again (trying to collect his favour?), but the cure felt too easy (he coincidentally had some archangel grace) to work (also, there were still 4 minutes left of the episode). So does Jack need different archangel grace? That of Lucifer? Or his own grace? The fact that his life is at risk is a huge potential for one or all Winchester to make a dumb decision to save him.

And then of course there is Dean zoning out twice, and I think both times were when they talked about Jack and a cure for him. Was Michael able to listen through him? How is he connected to Jack?

Only time can tell. Until then <3


	8. Thoughts about Spn 14x08

**Thoughts about Spn 14x08**

**SPOILERS AHEAD! BEWARE!**

So, does anybody else have Buffy season 2 war flashbacks? (I know you do) What an episode. It was a lot to take in, both emotionally (ALL THE FEELS), as well if what happened in the episode could mean for the future. For whatever slow pacing the season had so far, Jack’s sickness and death arc happened rather fast. They could have dragged it out longer, and the reason they didn’t means it was a plot device. Though unlike Kevin or Charlie’s death (who were plot devices as well) this ended on a happy note. For now.

But, as always, let’s take a closer look.

**Because I made a promise, because I love you**

I saw some speculation about Jack’s death after last week’s episode, that he had to die in order for the story to make sense, but in all honesty I didn’t expect it so soon. I was not ready. And obviously neither were Sam, Dean and Cas. And we see how different they react to his death, how Dean can’t even bear to be in the same room when it happens, but afterwards he is the one dealing with the most mature. He is the one talking about a funeral, and he is the one most suspicious of the deal Lily Sunder offered. And I think it might be because he has been a father his whole life, and it is not the first child he loses (Sam), whereas Sam and Cas are strangers to the situation. Sam only lost people who took care of him but never someone he felt responsible for.

I hope nobody dares to give Mary shit for not calling back immediately. I think Dean calling her was a good way to include her in the episode, because apart from Team Free Will she was closest to Jack. And Dean, who tried to hold everything together, just needed for a moment to be a child as well. He needed comfort as well, and Mary is the only one he allows himself to ask for it.

The episode focused on the unnaturalness of a child dying before his parents. All three (Sam, Dean and Cas) fully accept Jack as their child. Cas says that this is not how he thought Jack’s story would end, which of course is very meta thing to say. Even on a show like _Supernatural_ nobody expected Jack to really die. And we see two women trying to help Jack who both know what it means to lose a child: Rowena last episode and now Lily Sunder.

A word about Lily: I’m glad they brought her back because she has been an awesome character. I’m glad that she found some sort of peace and that they let her age (because, you know, women aren’t allowed to get older on TV). There is also regret of what she had done. Yes, she got her revenge, but it almost cost her her soul (metaphorically and literary), reminding us again that revenge will never bring you peace. And by doing so she ruined her chance to be reunited with her daughter. I love how they ended her story, how Dean reminded her of her humanity, of her own pain, and how that one big sacrifice got rewarded in the end.

Dean is the one who is the most suspicious of the deal they made, which shows his growth. Also his first assumption is that Sam made a deal, and he got really angry about it. I do believe that the spell they used to save Jack will have consequences. If Dean is suspicious it is always an alarm signal. Lily says that as long as he only uses his soul to sustain his body it won’t cost him much. So Jack will probably use this magic for more, which will have an effect on his soul. I… don’t like it.  

After Jack dies he goes to heaven, which makes sense, because without his grace he is essentially human. And yet the Empty claims him. So does the Empty also claims other angels who lost their grace? Does it matter more what you were born as, than as what you die?

I also wonder if the Empty has been awake since Cas woke it up (and it can’t go back to sleep until Cas returns), or if Lucifer woke it up again? Naomi said Cas is the only one who ever escaped the Empty, so does that mean Lucifer is still there and that she doesn’t know about him yet? Is the Empty pissed because Cas escaped or because he woke it up or both?

I also loved how Erica Cerra played the Empty (better than Misha and his weird accent *cough*). I really think the major issue is that the Empty is now awake, aware of the endless nothingness it is surrounded by. I would go bonkers as well. The deal Cas makes is of course a huge reference to _Buffy_ and the curse Angel was put under. Angel lost his soul after one moment of true happiness, and that happiness happened after he finally allowed himself to return Buffy’s love. So yeah, if they go that route, it would be a huge step towards Destiel. I wonder if Cas remembers this del however and if Jack does as well, because we know Sam and Dean forgot all of their heaven memories.

One more thing about the Empty: back in season 12 it was already a metaphor for depression, representing empty nothingness, and we saw how Cas overcame it. And now, when he finally allows himself to be happy, it will take him away again. Ouch.

I also saw some suggesting that Cas only needs to become human, so he will go to heaven if he dies. But Jack was human when he died, and the Empty still claimed him. A deal is a deal.

Also speaking of Destiel, the episode made a huge deal of separating Sam from Dean and Cas, and showing us basically them acting as husbands the entire time. Because they are.

It is also interesting that Jack’s heaven, one of his happiest memories, is their hunt from 13x06. That was after Cas returned and Den finally started accepting Jack. He sees them as much as his family as they seem him as their child. I don’t think this makes Kelly less important, but he simply had no memories of her he could see. I do love the ways in which the show made Kelly part of Jack’s story and that they were finally able to meet. It tied her story up perfectly. And her and Cas’s story as well. All. The. Feels.

On another note I love how _Supernatural_ just mixes up all religions. Yes of course Anubis works with heaven (and yeah for a moment I thought they would have the same point system as in _The Good Place_ ). But also Anubis’s reminder that it isn’t him or God who decides where we will end up but just ourselves. Our choices determinate what kind of person we are. (I wonder where Sam and Dean would go? They did save the world (a lot) but also did some really awful things)

So next week we will see Michael again. How does heaven know where to find him? And what is the relationship between heaven and Michael? Michael didn’t seem to fond of the angels and Naomi just gave his location to the hunters who try to kill him… unless it is a trap *badadum* We will see.

Until next week <3


	9. Thoughts about Spn 14x09

**Thoughts about Spn 14x09**

**BEWARE! SPOILERS AHEAD!**

It’s time for the annual Christmas episode. And this year they actually did include Christmas stuff and referenced the only Christmas movie Dean admits he has ever watched, “Die Hard”. Overall it was a good episode that tied together the first half of the season pretty well, even though the ending was not entirely unexpected. But I rather have it if the story follows the bread crumbs we’ve been seeing all season long, then to give us a plot twist out of the blue just for the sake of surprising the audience. So no complaining here. I’m curious to see in which ways they will continue the Michael plot, and I’m definitely looking forward to see a trip inside Dean’s mind.

But until then, let’s have a closer look.

So, let’s talk a bit about Michael. First of all I loved the actress who played him (Felisha Terrell), she was very consistent with the other actors who had portrayed Michael so far. I also wonder if her vessel is somehow related to the Winchesters? It would have made sense for Michael to choose a vessel that is at the very least from the same bloodline as his perfect vessel. And speaking of Dean: I feel like the entire plan of Michael was set up for Dean specifically. Why Kansas City? Well, Sam & Den are from Kansas. Why taking over a skyscraper? Why set everything oddly enough up to resemble “Die Hard”? Because Dean loves this movie. Because Dean wants to be John McClane, he wants to be the guy who saves the day, because in movies the bad guys always lose (see 14x04). But the biggest trap is to give Dean the illusion of free will, to make him think his choices would matter. It is just like 5x13, or even 5x04, no matter what they do, no matter how much they try to prepare themselves (with special weapons, with a spy etc), in the end Dean will lose himself to Michael. Because Michael was never truly gone, he left the door open. And this realization will break Dean, that he had never been free. The loss of agency, the loss of freedom has always been the biggest threat of the show. It is was made Lucifer and now Michael so terrifying, the ways in which they disturbed Dean, Sam and Cas’s identity, how they could no longer trust themselves and lost the sense of who they are. (And speaking of Lucifer: is it possible that he left the door open in Nick as well? Is this how they are connected with each other?)

To me the most interesting aspect of the episode was the conversation between Michael and Jack. Michael reminds Jack of their connection, how much they are alike, and that in time they will only have each other left. It is a reminder of how old and powerful Michael truly is, and that Jack indeed is more like him than his human family. Jack is otherworldly, he is unhuman (as 14x07 reminded us of). He feels loyalty and deep sense of love towards Sam, Dean and Cas, but he will outlive them. I wonder what Jack’s future arc will look like. It does look like as if he has to choose between his human and his angelic side, obviously paralleling Cas here. Lily’s spell means his soul will be intact as long as he only uses her magic to sustain his body. The moment he uses it to use his powers it will affect his soul – he will become less human. Jack still struggles with his new powerless life – he reminds Sam how easy it was for him to open a door with his powers. But he learned to do it the human way, and he also again mentioned Kelly – the embodiment of his humanity. For now Jack resents everything Michael has to offer, but it wouldn’t be like “Supernatural” if Jack will change his mind (even just temporarily) to create some conflict.  

One last note about Jack: he now lives with the same burden as Dean did in season 2, knowing his father (Cas) sacrificed his own life for him. True, Cas won’t die immediately, because as he reminded us his life is rarely happy, but still. We will see if Jack will try to find a way out of Cas’s deal, and how far he will go for it, a parallel for basically every character on this show, because they all do stupid things for the ones they love.

I’m glad that Garth was back and that he also survived the episode. I wonder if he actually has a daughter or if he only made that up (though it would tie in to the theme of fatherhood this season) and if the family he wants to protect is actually the Winchesters. We also learn that Michael can control the monsters he transforms. The message hear is clear: great power only comes for the loss of freedom. Michael’s monsters might be nearly indestructible, but they have to give up themselves. Just like Dean had to give up himself in order to use Michael’s powers to kill Lucifer.

And at last two other characters I briefly want to talk about: Kaia and Ketch. I think the later and the side-quest to get the Egg was only there as a reminder that the writers didn’t forget about the Egg. There really was no other purpose for that scene. Kaia though… first of all they got the spear by asking for it not stealing, though they used a lie to get what they want (Jack can no longer bring Kaia back to her world). And the big question is: who is Kaia protecting in her world? She said she left her world because she was tired of running away from the monsters over there, but that might not be the only reason. Maybe her trip to our world was meant to be temporarily from the beginning. I feel that there is much more to her character and her motivations, and I’m curious to find out more.

Until next near my lovelies. Hope you all have a good time <3


	10. Thoughts about Spn 14x10

Thoughts about Spn 14x10

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we are back with an episode that, as usual, gave me a lot of feelings. I admit that after a strong first half of the season I wasn’t the biggest fan of the midseason-finale, because the twist didn’t work for me. Mostly because we had all saw it coming and because it felt as we just went back to the status quo of this season’s beginning. And I was really curious as to how they would defeat Michael this time, because the spoilers for the upcoming episodes already told us that Dean would be back, and I admit I really liked how Yockey tied the story up momentarily, and the direction the story went, giving us something new to feel anxious about. Yeah.

But, as always, let’s have a closer look.

**Rocky’s Bar**

Obviously we have to talk about Rocky’s bar, about Dean’s dream ( _the_ dream), and what it tells us about Dean. I’m not sure how much of it is actually made up by Dean, and what is made up by Michael. Sam reminded us of the time Gadreel had trapped him inside in his mind, distracting him with a case. Which makes it sound like the angel chooses the fantasy. And in a way this makes sense. We see Dean owning a bar, working together with Pamela, and at the end of the day we still saves the day and kills vampires. Michael gives him something that is his (and it’s a bar of all things, for someone who once described himself as a “functional alcoholic”), there is a beautiful woman, and Dean can still be the hero, even though we don’t see him actually hunting. And yet this fantasy feels wrong. It feels like someone took a very superficial look at Dean’s life, especially say season 4 and 5, and created something out of it. Does Dean really wants to own a bar? Where is his family in this fantasy? Why are Sam and Cas mentioned but never show up? Where is Jack? Or Mary? And if Pamela can return from the dead, where is Bobby or Ellen or Jo or Charlie?

And speaking about Pamela. It is interesting that of all the people he lost it is her who returns. And Dean is completely unaware that she died in reality. This isn’t about her loss. It is what she represents. She is hot, she can defend herself, appreciates the finer things in life (sex, alcohol, probably good music and fast cars). And yet… nothing happens between the two. And this is where we are reminded that even if it is Michael who choose this distraction it is still Dean’s mind and Dean’s rules. It is Dean who chooses to give her a boyfriend, to make her unavailable. And this isn’t about her being hard to get (besides Dean always accepted it when a woman said “no”). Because she even tells him that he doesn’t really want her, that he only wants to flirt. While asking him why he only wants what he can’t have. And “Searchin’ For a Rainbow” plays in the back. Ahem. And on top of that Pamela of course is a psychic, somebody Dean can’t lie to.

So Dean is all alone with a beautiful woman and… nothing happens. And this isn’t about Pamela having a boyfriend. It is about Dean, who doesn’t really want her. He wants something or rather someone, he can’t have. And the episode asks loudly who that could be.

**Gnats & Gods**

So, let’s talk about Michael. First of all, Jensen played him so so well. I think the longer the character stays around the more comfortable Jensen gets playing him and it really shows. Second, did Michael really use his powers to change his outfit? Is he that extra? Yes, of course he is.

So, as it turns out this Michael has as much daddy issues as the Michael of our world had. But unlike our Michael this Michael was able to play his part, to bring down the apocalypse and kill Lucifer and… nothing happened. God didn’t show up. He didn’t care. Just as he didn’t care in our world when the apocalypse almost happened. And yet it must have hurt Michael to find out through Dean’s memories that Chuck did show up in our world. But it gives Michael at least some satisfaction that he at least saw his old man and that he realized that Chuck is a writer, and all the worlds he creates are just failed drafts he abandons once he realizes they don’t work out. I wonder if there is some truth to it, if Chuck indeed keeps on creating, world after world, draft after draft, never satisfied with his work. It also confirms that there is only one God (and probably only one Amara), but they are multiple versions of the archangels (and everyone else).

Michael plans to burn down every world his father has created, to catch up on him, and to ultimately kill God. I’m not sure if the CW goes as far as to kill God, or if it is even possible. I’m more interested in what that means for Dean, as Michael is his Dark Mirror and we know John will temporarily return. Does Dean have to kill his own father? Or rather the toxic parts of their relationship in order to find closure?

**My Body is a Cage (but my mind holds the key)**

Michael tries to create a rift between Dean and his family by confronting everyone with their greatest fear. He tells Jack that he is unwanted, just another burden for Dean, nothing more than a responsibility, and that Dean never truly loved or cared about him.

He tells Cas that Dean only tolerates him, because he thinks he owes him for rescuing him from hell. (Dean of course remembers the exact words Cas used – “gripped you tight and raised you from perdition” – though I’m pretty sure that Cas-voice was just Jensen making fun of Misha). But since then Cas has made one mistake after another.

And finally Sam is confronted with the fear that he will always let down Dean, that he will always leave, and that perhaps his brother was happier without him, when he was hunting alone with his father. Which I think will be important again, once John returns.

Even though we know Michael is lying, I think what he said to each member of Dean’s family will have an effect on them. They will question themselves and their relationship to Dean. But I also think it will help each of them on their road to self-discovery, to realize that Michael was wrong and that they have value.

I want to talk about Cas especially, because of reasons. Because there is of course some truth to Michael’s words, otherwise it wouldn’t hurt as much. Cas has made a lot of mistakes in the past, and he still feels guilty because of it. The question is however why he is still a part of Dean’s life, of Dean’s family then? Only because Dean tolerates him, because he thinks he owes Cas? Or could it be because his feelings for Cas run a bit deeper. First the episode tells us that Pamela (and women like her) is not what Dean wants. Now it asks why Cas is still around. And the lines “We need you ” and “I remember. I remember everything” are callbacks to two heavy Destiel episodes, 8x17 and 7x17 respectively.

Like I mentioned before I like how the episode tied up the Michael storyline for now. Dean finds a loophole – in his mind Michael has no powers and he can trap him. Dean’s body literally becomes the cage. He has trapped his own Dark Mirror inside himself. Which of course isn’t healthy and only a temporarily solution, because after all doors are made to be opened. But it is also interesting because even before Michael Dean’s body has been a cage (it’s no wonder I immediately associated[ this song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D5ZIODI3yhfw&t=ZjlhZTRkYjc0YWI2NDllMDZjNTg2ZWI1YzhkMzQyZTg4MGU3MjdkNSxDZUhYT2plRQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AmZ74xsg2zq_qvub1chY1lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fnerdylittleshit.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F182146297027%2Fthoughts-about-spn-14x10&m=1) with Dean). Dean is used to bury down traumatic events, and this episode alone reminded us how much trauma he had to endure. Could it be that if one door is opened others are opened as well? That when (not if) Michael escapes the cage Dean not only has to face his Dark Mirror but all the traumas of his life as well?

Which of course brings us to Death. Or Billie. First of all I wonder why only Sam and Michael were able to see the reaper. Reapers are angels (according to Bucklemming mythology), so Cas should have seen her. I’m not sure about Jack though, because he is half-human. There might be some significance in the fact that not everyone could see the reaper.

Then we learned that will there is only one God, there is more than one Death. Michael mentions that he locked away the Death of his world and enslaved the reapers, which of course made him the Master of Death in his world. It is possible he has the same plan for our world and why Billie intervenes.

Billie of course warned Dean about walking between worlds and we learn that such a huge event like AU!Michael entering our world can result in destinies being rewritten, in this case Dean’s. We are confronted with a case of _Supernatural: Infinity War_ , where only one outcome doesn’t result in the destruction of… well everything. The big question of course is what is written in the notebook Billie gave Dean? What does he has to do to stop Michael? My first thought was that perhaps he has to sacrifice himself, destroy the vessel, while Michael is still locked inside himself. Which is an idea I don’t really like because I prefer my Dean happy and alive.

So now I am worried about Dean, worried about Cas and his deal with the Empty, and worried about Jack, because of course he used his powers and therefore burned off a bit of his soul.

One short mention of the AU hunters: really liked the representation of community, how they without questioning helped the Winchesters. They might not be family, but they can rely on each other.

And that’s it. Until next week <3


	11. Thoughts about Spn 14x11

**Thoughts about Spn 14x11**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

Ugh. This episode. I don’t know what the official timeline on Supernatural is anymore, let’s just hope this episode didn’t take place on Dean’s birthday. I admit I was a bit surprised that this episode picked up directly where 14x10 left us, giving us an answer as to what was written in the book Billie gave Dean. I thought we wouldn’t get an answer to this until the end of the season, and the fact that we see Dean’s big dumb self-sacrifice attempt so early means that this probably not how the season ends. Which I would appreciate because we have seen this story again and again, and we still have Cas’s deal with the Empty and Jack and his soul to be worried about anyway.

Overall I liked this episode. It confirmed what I thought was in Billie’s book, that Dean in some way has to sacrifice himself, but by playing this story out so soon, this is not the direction we are headed, and I like this surprising element. And obviously Dean’s farewell tour gave me all the feels.

But, as always, let’s have a closer look.

**Farewell Tour**

After last week’s episode many people speculated what was written in Bilie’s notebook, what could prevent Michael from burning down the world. Some, like me, though it would be some sort of sacrifice/suicide mission on Dean’s part, others thought the show would head in a less likely direction and Dean would get his happy end. The episode both confirmed the obvious reading (Dean has to sacrifice himself) but put also a twist on it, because I don’t think the Ma’lak Box will be the final solution. It is similar how in 5x18 Dean was ready to say “yes” to (our) Michael, but that was not how the season ended. And just like back then Dean starts his farewell tour.

Of course season 14 is full of callbacks to season 5. The apocalypse storyline is revisited, but with Michael instead of Lucifer as the Big Bad. Nick, who was introduced in the season 5 opener, plays a larger role. Part of this episode takes place in Mary’s storage room; in 5x01 Dean learns in John’s storage room about his fate as Michael’s vessel. Last week’s episode had many references to 4x01, this week the episode is connected to 5x01. And of course we end the episode with Sam asking since when they believe in fate, because this is what season 5 was all about: fighting destiny, the birth of Team Free Will. Will season 14 do a reversal then with them giving in to fate? Dean after all already said “yes”.

Something I noticed is how each of the people Dean encounters in this episode (Sam, Donna, Mary) can tell something is wrong with him. And especially Sam and Mary suspect that it might be more than just him recovering from Michael. And it is in those little things: that he hugged Sam, that he wanted some time alone with his mother, and that she would made his beloved childhood meal for him. And it reminded me a lot of Jack, who only wanted to spend more time with his family before his death. No bars, no women, none of the usual coping mechanism. Dean at his most vulnerable. And though they weren’t present (but mentioned) I’m pretty sure Dean would have visited Cas and Jack as well (and now I need a lot of angsty Destiel codas).

And speaking shortly about the Winchester Surprise. This episode again reminded us how uncommon Mary is as a mother. The first thing Dean hears when he arrives at the cabin is gunshots and he immediately thinks his mother is in danger, but Mary just shoots pumpkins. In fact we learn that she only ever buys pumpkins, whisky and crosswords, but never food, because she isn’t a great cook. Demons keep away from her and her sons because that is how badass they are. She has a storage room with a severed head in it. And for the feels: the combination for the lock to the room is Dean’s birthday.

Mary on the other hand is reminded again how much she missed out, and how Dean had to replace her, cooking for Sam, trying to give him one good memory of their mom. John of course is mentioned again, unsurprising since we know he will return in 14x13. But Mary is made aware again how messed up her son’s childhood was, how Dean had to be a parent for Sam, and I wonder if this will come up once John returns.

And speaking about emotional conversations: this is the first time Dean tells Sam that he loves him. His actual words are _“Sam, you’ve tried. Cas has tried. Jack… And I love you for trying”_. So I guess this is another case of singular vs plural you, because Dean could have only meant Sam, as he was the only one there, or meant all of them, because he mentioned them all. Either way, it is a huge step for Dean, who isn’t with the whole love and love thing.  And we have a repeated pattern with singular vs plural and multiple interpretations and… Dean just said he loves Cas, you can’t take that away from me.

**What’s in the box?**

Two boxes play a role in this episode: the Enochian Puzzle Box Mary used to trap Abraxas in and the Ma’lak Box Dean built to trap himself and Michael in it. And of course one can’t say box without mentioning Pandora’s Box. In the history of Supernatural opening something never had good consequences. The Winchesters opened the gates of hell and demons escaped. Dean opened the first and Sam the last seal and Lucifer escaped. Sam opened the MoC and the Darkness escaped. In this episode the Enochian Puzzle box is opened and it ends with an innocent man dead. And we know that once the door in Dean’s mind gives in something terrible will happen as well. But we also know that locking someone up is just a temporarily solution, see the Cage or Amara. So neither the door in Dean’s mind, not the Ma’lak Box will contain Michael. They have to find a different solution.

We learn that Abraxas acted on Lucifer’s order when he killed Nick’s family, that Nick was chosen, but not special. Lucifer needed a vessel, any vessel, and he knew that a man full of despair and in deep pain would be the easiest to convince to say “yes”. I wonder if that is now the end of the Nick-Lucifer-Lovestory. Let’s hope so.

And regarding Nick we see both Sam and Dean react quite different to him. Both Winchesters have been in Nick’s situation: they both have been vessels to an Archangel. Sam however shows compassion, he deeply believes that people can be saved, because he needs to believe he can be saved as well. Forgiving Nick was part of Sam’s journey to forgive himself. But after he learns the truth about Nick he expresses his regret, but he also lets him go. Nick is no longer his responsibility. Sam learns that not everything is his fault, that he can’t control everything. And that is a good thing. Dean on the other hand thinks of Nick of someone past saving, because he thinks about himself as someone past saving. There is no hope for Nick because there is no hope for Dean. The way both Sam and Dean react to Nick is telling how they think about themselves.

**Some other things**

Donna: I just love her. And how she clearly has set up Joe, the grocery guy, not to tell anyone about Mary and to inform her asap when something suspicious happens. Bless her. Also Donna’s type is also Dean’s type, just saying. They have the same taste in burgers just as they have in men.

And last the Book of Jubilees. The [SuperWiki](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fsupernaturalwiki.com%2F14.11_Damaged_Goods&t=MTA2NjVkNzVhNDUzYTk4NmNmMzM0ODgwOTAzZmUzMTViMGIwMmIxYixFTG1jejFPdw%3D%3D&b=t%3AmZ74xsg2zq_qvub1chY1lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fnerdylittleshit.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F182306710277%2Fthoughts-about-spn-14x11&m=1) tells us this about it: _The Book of Jubilees is an ancient Jewish text, not considered canon by most churches. The book classifies angels into four groups: angels of the presence, angels of sanctifications, guardian angels over individuals, and angels presiding over the phenomena of nature. It also covers the genesis of angels and the rise of the Nephilim._ Does anyone else think Cas classifies as a guardian angel over an individual?

Anyway, til next week lovelies <3


	12. Thoughts about Spn 14x12

**Thoughts about Spn 14x12**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

This episode was ok. It felt like one of these episode where we have to get from point A to B, in this case ending the episode with Dean changing his mind, done through some not so subtle parallels and of course Sam’s emotional speech. The dialogues felt a bit flat and were mostly saved through Jensen and Jared’s performances. I think they might need Donatello back for plot reasons, but did it through very lazy writing (it is a miracle indeed). I’m not sure how the Nick/Lucifer-storyline still fits in to the main-plot and I just want it to end. I couldn’t care less about it.

But, as always, let’s have a closer look.

**What We Have To Do**

A lot about this episode was about fate and choice, the thing we feel we have to do and finding a different way. It is the main conflict of this episode, and had been the main conflict in season 5, that season 14 references a lot. Dean feels like he has no other choice then to lock himself away, in order to keep Michael from destroying the world. Tony, the killer prophet, felt like he had no other choice then to kill those people, carrying out orders from God, hearing voices in his head. Dean carries out Billie’s order, and he hears Michael in his head. Tony kills himself with Dean’s gun of all things; Dean himself is on a suicide mission.

Of course Tony isn’t the only parallel to Dean. With Donatello as well they feel like they have no the choice than to let him die, in order to prevent future harm. But Donatello is described as a fighter, he recovers, also through the help of Cas, which could be important for Dean’s recovery as well. As I mentioned before I felt that Donatello’s recovery was very lazy writing, and other than the Dean parallel I think they might need him back for plot reasons. A prophet could be handy to find out how to defeat Michael after all.

**Believe In Us**

And speaking about parallels we also met the brother of one of the victims. The victim was the older brother, the firstborn, though he was only 4 minutes older instead of 4 years. He said he was very close with his brother, they were best friends, and that losing him feels like losing a part of himself. That of course describes Sam’s situation.

We dive a bit more into the brother’s relationship when Dean takes a trip down memory lane and apologizes for not always being the best big brother. For Sam though he was. He says that Dean is the only one who was always there for him and acknowledges that Dean practically raised him. And then Dean tells Sam that at times John sent him away, that he didn’t ran away, because he wants Sam to know this. Now, last week we had Dean and Mary’s conversation regarding the “Winchester Surprise” and what looked like an adorable childhood memory informed us (and Mary) again that it was Dean’s job to take care of Sam. Both times John isn’t portrayed as the best father. The ghost of John of course has been lingering all over the season, however we know he will return next episode, so it is interesting that in the two previous episodes we were reminded of his flaws as a father. So now I am more positive those issues will be addressed next week, and they have to, if Sam and Dean want to get the closure that they need.

And speaking about family, or rather Cas. I found it really interesting how both Sam and Dean treated Cas this week. Dean had no plans to tell Cas about his plan (then again he didn’t plan to tell Sam or his mother either). Sam regards Cas as family, so of course he tells him about Dean’s suicide mission. Dean however keeps his distance, on the phone, unwilling to talk, and even when Cas forces him to talk. He refers to Cas as “a friend of mine”, not brother or family, as he did before. Through his actions and his words he pushes Cas away. And in a way I felt like he no-homoed himself, denying any kind of attraction and affection towards Cas, telling himself it is easier that way. But in the end Cas is there during Dean’s speech, he is part of their family, he returns home with them.

**You Are Him**

So, Nick and his neverending storyline *sigh*. Again we are reminded that Lucifer’s possession changed, though I no longer see this as a parallel to Dean, because Michael didn’t change Dean. Nick claims that the devil made him do all those horrible things, whereas Dean takes responsibility for his actions. The cop however says that Nick is done, that he is buried, and that of course is something he has in common with Dean.

I guess for some reasons they couldn’t get the original actress that played Sarah (Ok, I googled her and she had a big role on “Scandal”, so I guess she is too expensive now), but I’m not sure why they brought her character back at all. The whole conversation where it sounded like Lucifer is Nick’s mistress was just cringe-worthy (including Nick mistaking his wife for Lucifer). Both claim that their unfinished business is to get justice for Sarah and Teddy’s death, but both realize that they are still here because of what happened to Nick afterwards, because of Lucifer. Does that mean that Nick will try to find a way to contact Lucifer again, to be his vessel again? Or is it as Sarah said, that they became one, and that Nick is already him? Why bring Lucifer back if Nick is already a monster of his own.

Either way I couldn’t care less about this storyline. It had some interesting aspects in the beginning of the season, but now I just want Nick gone. Forever.

So, until next week. Episode 300. What a ride.


	13. Thoughts about Spn 14x13 AKA EPISODE 300!!!!!

**Thoughts about Spn 14x13 AKA EPISODE 300!!!!!**

**SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

I HAVE A LOT OF EMOTIONS! This episode was really something truly special. Admittedly I’m not the biggest fan of John Winchester and I wasn’t looking forward to his return. But man, I really loved how they pulled this of. It was really close to perfect. It was a big character piece and very  self-referential. But whereas the 200th episode (“Fan Fiktion”) was a love letter to the show and the fans, this felt like a closing chapter, going back to the start, letting go and finding closure. And of course the show ain’t over yet, but it addressed by now its two original wounds, Mary’s death and John’s absence, to let Sam and Dean truthfully move forward. It answered some question and shed a light on a few unanswered questions as well. And I feel by now the show has come full circle in so many ways, so when it eventually will end, and they give us episodes like this, it will be a great end.

But, as always, let’s take a closer look.

**Lebanon**

Despite the fact that the Winchesters live in Lebanon since season 8 we haven’t really seen much of the city. I wish we would have seen an entire episode from the town’s perspective, but I’m glad with what we saw here so far. The Winchesters, whose family business is to track down Urban Legends have become a Urban Legend in their town by now. We see them interact with the people in town, they are familiar, and this warms my heart. Because again it brings us back to the original concept of the show, a road movie every week. And while this element is still present they also have a home now, a place they can return to, people who know them.

I also love that they go by the name Campbell in town, Mary’s maiden name. Of course the Winchester brothers are officially dead (more than one time), but it also connects them more with Mary. The show started with them known as John’s sons, but they are their own men now (more about this later), and they also acknowledge Mary’s side of the family through that.

The three teenagers can be interpreted as tem free will mirrors, with Max, the girl who loves plaid and classic cars, as a Dean mirror who falls for a brunette. Make of that what you will.

I love that the little case of the week included John Wayne Gacy, representing both Sam’s worst fear (clowns) and his special interest (serial killers). Just like Dean gets his biggest wish granted but there is a downside to it as well.

I also love that we learn that to heaven Lebanon is ‘muddy’, that there is some sort of interference, probably because of all the warding in the bunker.

Finally, the title of the episode doesn’t seem to make much sense at first. Of course the episode takes place in Lebanon (but so did many others) and we get to see more of the town and its inhabitants and how Dean’s wish affects them. But this episode is about family at its core (just like the show is). The family is the centre of every home, of Dean’s heart, just as Lebanon is the geographical centre of the US.  

**What your heart desires**

Of course the plot of this episode is a bit constructed. All of sudden Dean gets a magical pearl that grants him his biggest wish, what his heart desires. But it doesn’t really matter how we get there, but more what it tells us about Dean and what happens next. For one we see that what Dean thinks is his biggest wish is different from what his heart truly desires. We are the most unreliable narrators of our own stories. Second, as typical for this trope, be careful what you wish for. Sam knows this, so his immediate reaction is to think about the consequences of their actions. Because they learned the hard way that nothing in life is for free and you always have to pay the prize.

So, let’s take a look at what actually happens. Den wishes for his father and they summon John from the year 2003. Therefore dad goes missing two years earlier than in their original timeline (and will likely never return). As a consequence Sam and Dean are not reunited; Dean still hunts whereas Sam becomes a TED-Talk giving whatever. Sam never dies, Dean never makes a deal and goes to hell, Cas never rescues him and remains a loyal servant of heaven. The apocalypse never starts. Mary never returns.

We can debate how much of that would have actually happen like that. My biggest complaint is probably Sam. I just don’t see him becoming this person who totally distances himself from the entire concept of family. I mean he still would have met Jess, fall in love with her, propose to her. And it is still possible Yellow Eyes ordered to kill her to get Sam back in the life, to prepare him to become Lucifer’s vessel. Did Jess still die but Dean wasn’t around so instead of hunting Sam dedicated his life to his new career?

And is it possible Zachariah, just as the Winchesters, still remembered the original timeline? He says to Cas “You wouldn’t [understand that reference”, implying the original Cas would have. He notices the interference of time and says Sam and Dean were supposed to play a role in the apocalypse. Either way, by now Sam, Dean and Jack have killed all a version of Zachariah (Dean the original one, Sam this new one and Jack the one in the AU). It’s a family thing.

And even though they killed Zachariah they don’t kill Cas, despite this new Cas trying to kill Cas, because I don’t think they could have. In the end though it is not (or not entirely) the change in Cas that makes them realize that John has to return to his timeline, but the prospect that with John staying Mary will fade away. John choose her life over his own, saying it is no real choice. I do wonder if this is foretelling in some way, that one character will choose another one’s life over their own, perhaps even in a romantic context.

The first conversation we see is that between Sam and his father. It seemed to me that Sam didn’t really wanted to be alone with his father (he immediately asked where Mary is) and that he was unsure what to do and what to say. Sam and John parted with so many things unspoken, with a huge fight shortly before John died, and Sam blamed himself for not making things right. What I loved is that John is aware that he messed things up, that he wasn’t the best father, and that he apologizes. It means a lot. But it is also interesting to see Sam’s reaction: he forgives his father, and in doing so he forgives himself. Sam truly lets go of the past, of his complicated relationship with his father, of the guilt he felt regarding his father’s death. Sam forgiving John wasn’t just for giving John peace, but to give himself peace as well. Forgiveness isn’t about whether someone deserves our forgiveness or not; it is about our own ability to let go, to find peace, to heal.

Interesting despite the fact that it was Dean’s wish I thought Sam needed this sort of closure much more, more than he even realized. Dean seems more confident facing his father, like he already made his peace and needed this final conversation to close this chapter of his life. John tells Dean that he was proud of him. Back in 1x22 it was because John told him the exact same thing that Dean got suspicious and realized that his father was possessed. Dean needed to hear this (I needed to her this because this scene always makes me very emotional for personal reasons). John also says that he had wished for his son to get a normal life, once their mission of killing Yellow Eyes was completed. This is surprising as John throw out Sam for wanting to live a normal life. And it brings us back to a very old theme of the show: [Dean vs the apple pie life](http://nerdylittleshit.tumblr.com/post/133299926162/you-dont-ever-want-something-more-dean).For as much Dean denied in earlier seasons to want a normal life we this is not true, but neither the hunting life or the normal apple pie life with Lisa and Ben had made him completely happy. Now though he has the best of both worlds: he still hunts, he still does in his eyes do something meaningful, but he also has a home, has a family, and he tells his father exactly this. It might not be a family in the traditional sense (that we then see at the family dinner) but it is a family all the same. However it made sense to me that neither Cas or Jack were present for the family diner, as this episode was so much about going back to the beginning, so it was about the core family that started this show.

In a later conversation with Sam we see how much Dean has grown, how mature he acts. Even though the idea of sending their father back with the full knowledge of what will happen (giving him peace but also risking he will change the past) is tempting, Dean doesn’t really think about it. He knows that if it wasn’t for them some other people might had to save the world, might have been given their burden. He acknowledges that his life has been hard, has been painful, that both his parents are partly to blame for it. But he wouldn’t have it any other way. Because his life made him who he is, his choices made him who he is, and that is the Dean he is at peace with, the Dean he wants to be, the one who sacrificed so much because he couldn’t live with himself if he wouldn’t. Dean acknowledges that their lives are theirs, that they are their own man now, writing their own stories. In a show that deals so much with losses of agency, with the concept of fate vs free will (especially again in this season), this means a lot.

When the time arrives to say goodbye John once again tells his sons that he is proud of them, and that he loves them. Dean returns the “I love you”. After Mary and Sam this is the third time he tells someone he loves them, and it leaves some space because there is yet one person left that he hasn’t told yet he loves him (I’m talking about Cas of course). And while, as I explained, it made sense that Cas wasn’t around for the family diner, it also made sense he was there at the end. Because he is part of Dean’s family, and mirrors what John was to Mary (also, any bets on what John and Mary did in their alone time when Sam and Dean were out grocery shopping?).

John won’t remember what he learned about the future, though it would have given him some peace to see what would become of his sons and that Mary would return to life. It is nice though that at least he remembers some things as a dream, which made gave him shortly some comfort. But in the end this wasn’t so much about John, but about Sam and Dean. It is different than Mary’s return. It plays with the idea to have one final conversation with a loved one you lost, to find a chance to say goodbye, to find some peace and closure with it. To let them know that you are ok after all, to look back at your own life and find peace with who you are.

So much about this episode was going back to the start, to show how they have come, how they changed. Much of it felt like an ending. Episodes like this make me positive than when this show will eventually end they will do it in a satisfying way. They know their characters and their stories so well by now, that so much about the last seasons doesn’t feel like stretching the story out but rather coming full circle. The show is becoming its own epos.

And finally huge respect for all the acting this episode, but especially Jared and Jensen’s performances, who brought me to tears. To everyone who works on this show, before or behind the camera, who gives their best every week: **thank you.**


	14. Thoughts about Spn 14x14

**Thoughts about Spn 14x14**

**BEWARE! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

We’re back, baby! I admit that I didn’t miss Supernatural that much during the mini-hiatus. I mentioned this before, but the season’s myth-arc around Michael isn’t that interesting to me. So, this episode was a huge surprise in what it did and where they went, which I didn’t expect at all, and makes me a lot more curious and excited about the rest of the season. There were a lot of great character moments and lots to speculate about, so without further ado let’s talk about it.

**Good old fashioned lover boy**

There was a lot of queer subtext (and actually text) thanks to our queer coded villain, Noah. This starts with the very first scene in the way Noah is dressed and moves, and the music in the background, which are all very campy, and it is confirmed when we learn that our monster has to kiss its victims in order to paralyse them. Of course it is always problematic if the only openly queer character of the episode is the actual villain and the only kiss we see between two men is an act of violence. Both Dean and Cas are connected to Noah, both in a supposedly romantic way. The letter Noah writes is addressed to Dean, a love letter if you want, especially after Dean himself frames it that way, saying that the reason Cas isn’t mentioned is because he is not Noah’s type. Cas however is later the only one of our team who gets kissed by Noah. However his interaction with Jack isn’t framed at all romantic or sexual, which makes his interactions with both Dean and Cas even more significant.

Noah himself later admits that he isn’t interest in men only, but that in times were women are more cautious it is easier to seduce men. It is possible that Noah, a Gorgon, simply isn’t interested in the gender of his victims, but it is also possible that he is attracted to both genders, making him bisexual.

**A wee witch**

First of all I wish Rowena would be in more episodes, because I love her interactions with Team Free Will. She spends most of her time however with Sam (even pretending to be a couple, a great day for all Sam and Rowena shippers), despite knowing he is the one who kills her. I think it gives her some sort of security (as she mentions when Michael threatens her) when she is in danger, but she also knows that Sam would never make her purposefully suffer or hurt her. It is also an insurance, knowing that if she ever crosses a certain line Sam will stop her. However, with the death of Michael, the question is if fate can be rewritten, and Rowena might die in a different way altogether.

We also see how much Rowena has changed. We see her asking Sam uncomfortable questions about Jack and Dean, and see her calling out Sam once she learns what kind of magic they used to heal Jack. It is the kind of magic she would have used, but then, as she reminds us, until very recently she was the villain. And this really changes the perspective of how we view the characters. This time Rowena is the one warning them and calling them out for what they done. She is the one manipulated by Michael because he knows that she cares about the Winchesters. (And how great was Ruth as Michael?) Rowena’s biggest concern all episode was Jack, and the kind of magic they used to save him, so that is what we as an audience should be concerned about as well.

**The chicken and the snake**

Before we come to _that_ scene, let’s talk about Jack and his morality and how he defines himself. While they still try to find out who killed those men Jack says it doesn’t matter if it was a supernatural creature or a human, he is a monster nevertheless, because of what he did. To Jack it is important what someone does, not what someone is. And yet the question that gets constantly asked throughout the episode is: What is Jack?

They figure out that the reason why Noah couldn’t see Cas and Jack is because they are angels. Jack says he is not an angel, which is technically true, but he is not a human either. When Noah sees him it is implied that Noah can see his fate (or maybe just the near future), because Noah himself is not sure what Jack is, telling him the story of the chicken and the snake. Is Jack the snake, therefore the villain, or is Jack the chicken, the one willing to sacrifice something he loves (his soul) in order to protect others? It would seem at first that Jack is the chicken, the one willing to sacrifice his soul to save the people he loves.

And yet… Jack keeps the snake for one thing. The snake of course is associated with Lucifer and Jack himself reminds us that he is the son of Lucifer. He also defines himself as a hunter and most importantly (because he mentions it at last) as a Winchester. Which means he is part of the family and one of the good guys. But the episode did question if the Winchesters are still the good guys after all, especially in regards of what they did to Jack.  

It did seem that Jack was more powerful than Michael in the end (the lore said that a Nephilim is more powerful than an Archangel), but the power he used came from his soul. Did Jack consume all of his soul in order to defeat Michael? He did consume Michael’s grace, which gave him power again, but we know that archangel grace alone can’t save him (see Gabriel’s grace). And the question is still what happened to his soul, something that the next episodes will answer.

In the end Jack answer the question himself: I’m me again. But who is Jack? Could it be that by destroying Michael Jack became an even bigger monster? Are the Winchesters the ones who in the end have to sacrifice the person they love, their child, in order to save the world?

The question of Jack’s nature is also part of the conversation he has with Cas. Cas refers to the both of them as “things like us”, reminding Jack again that they are not human and that it is their burden to watch their human friends die one day. It seems like Cas has given this a lot of thought over the years, knowing that Sam and Dean as hunters can die every day. It is possible that until Jack was born he had planned to follow them into heaven perhaps, but now he has a promise to keep, to keep Jack safe and to stay with him. It is reminder that both Cas and Jack are other, that they are not human, but their found family is.

Some things about Dean: It doesn’t really make sense that they brought Dean all the way back to the bunker after his head injury, instead of a hospital or the nearest motel. Of course Dean needed to be in the bunker so that Michael, once free again, could after all kill all the hunters from the Apocalypse world, the ones who had tried escaping him for so long. An injury like that and Dean losing his conscious was bound to happen in his job, and yet Dean will blame himself for everything that Michael did.

And one last thing: Everything means something.

Til next week <3


	15. Thoughts about Spn 14x15

**Thoughts about Spn 14x15**

**BEWARE! SPOILERS!**

A bit late, but I’m not feeling that well at the moment and I couldn’t really find the mental energy to do an episode review before (not sure about now either, but here it goes).

Overall I liked the episode a lot. I loved the aesthetic of Charming Acres, loved the humour and that in Sam and Cas’s part of the story Cas was our POV-character (please more of that). Jack’s storyline continues to be interesting as well, and I am intrigued to see where the show will be going with this.

So, without further ado, here we go again.

**“God has a beard”**

Let’s start with Cas, as this part of the episode is told from his perspective. We get several reminders that Cas is different and doesn’t fit in in Charming Acres, because he isn’t human, but also because of his morals. Just as in the previous episode we are reminded that Cas is an angel. He doesn’t sleep and doesn’t eat, and for some time the milkshake Sam had serves as a Red Herring, making us believe this is what turned Sam into Justin Smith. But it is not because Cas doesn’t eat (which is a by-product of being an angel), it is his angelhood itself that prevents him from becoming one of the victims of the mayor. He very clearly uses his powers to threat Sunny and in the end even says directly “I’m not human”. I feel like all those reminders of what Cas is and what he is not (human) will culminate in him making a decision whether he wants to remain an angel or not. Last week he told Jack about the burden of his long life – that eventually he has to witness the death of everyone he cares about. Also his deal with the Empty is tied to his status his angel. While being an angel was an advantage on the last two hunts (Noah couldn’t see Cas, the psychic had no effect on him), Cas status as other is overall not something positive, because it separates him from his family and the people he cares about.

But there was another level in which Cas didn’t fit in: his lack of morals. This is implied by the landlady and the accusingly look she gave Cas. Cas is also linked to Sunny, the only other person in Charming Acres who is not affected by the mayor (because she is not entirely human as well). It is Cas who finds Sunny’s letters to Conrad, and just as Cas Sunny is lacking some morals, because her letters were rather passionate, implying she had premarital sex. In the movie “Pleasantville”, about a town very similar to Charming Acres, it is (premarital) sex that sets a lot of the characters free. However Cas’s lack of morals isn’t about premarital sex. Just as in the previous episode he is queer coded, starting with him mimicking a handjob while talking about Sunny’s letters, to him asking several people whether they have seen his partner, a rather ambiguous term.

But there is another parallel between Cas and Sunny: the promise they made to a dead mother. In Sunny’s case it was to her own mother, in Cas’s case to Kelly. Both promised to take care of a family member: Sunny of her father, Cas of his son, Jack. But Sunny has to break her promise after she realizes that her father has become a monster. Instead of killing him however she trapped him inside his own mind, where he is happy, but can no longer hurt anyone. This could be a foretelling to what will happen to Cas and Jack. Dean and Cas are both worried about Jack, who consumed a great part of his soul in order to defeat Michael, and if his lack of a soul will turn him into a monster as well. Does Cas has to break his promise as well? Will he find a non-violent way to stop Jack from hurting others?  

And then of course we have Sam, who is deeply affected by the loss of the AU hunters, as he had seen them as his responsibility. I wonder if people like Sam, people in an already low place, would have been more easily affected by the mayor than people who were already happy. But of course the happiness of Charming Acres is ultimately fake. Nobody can be genuinely happy if you take away their free will and their agency. Sam/Justin’s happiness is based on the absence of pain because he can no longer remember his former life, but pain is part of living as well, and genuine happiness comes with the acceptance of pain.

The fight scene between Sam and Cas was of course a huge parallel to the fight scene between Dean and Cas in 10x22 (and Cas now keeps wondering why those things keep happening to him). However compared to 10x22 felt almost anticlimactic and less tensioned. Also, what I found interesting is that Cas did manage to talk Sam out of his trance, however in 10x22 Dean was still heavily under the influence of the MoC, and yet he didn’t kill Cas.

Back in the bunker Sam says that the place no longer feels like a home, because of all the tragedy happening inside of it, constant reminders of the people they lost. He says he needs some space, but it made me wonder if maybe, especially as the show might come to an end in the near future, the Winchesters will get a new home, one that isn’t tied to their jobs, where they can make new happy memories.

**“'WWWD’ – ‘What Would the Winchesters Do?’”**

Parallel to Sam and Cas, Dean and Jack’s storyline also centered around morality or the lack of it. The big question was about Jack’s soul: how much was left of it and how it would affect it. So Dean decides to take him to the only other currently soulless person he knows: Donatello.

I think Dean’s little test with the Angel Food Cake and the Devil’s Food Cake was there to add some humour, but had within the episode itself no deeper meaning. Outside the episode however it validated the significance of food as a metaphor, or as Rowena would say: everything means something.

And then there is also Dean’s invented new saying: It is not the snake that is dangerous but their bite. Meaning you should not judge someone on what they are but rather on their actions. Then again others would argue that it is in the snake’s nature to bite, and while we can’t blame the snake, it is inevitable that it will happen. Concerning Jack we go back to old question that has been asked since he was born: nurture or nature, which will affect him more? Is it inevitable that Jack will become a monster, because of his powers and the lack of his soul? Should we judge him on his actions? Back when Jack was born Dean only judged him based on his nature. He is a Nephilim, therefore he must be bad. Since then though things have changed.

Donatello gives Jack the advice to basically fake it, basing his decisions on what the Winchesters would do, using them as his moral guide. Which is a terrible advice because the Winchesters not always make the best choices. But the fact that Jack can no longer decide on his own what is right and what is wrong is worrying. I took the fact that he cared about the wellbeing of Felix the snake as a good sign, but in the end Jack decided that killing the snake would be the best for it, demonstrating his powers, and playing God in deciding who lives and who not. Thinking that its death would be the best for the snake and also believing that is what the Winchesters would have done shows how alarmingly off Jack is.

Until next week <3


	16. Thoughts about Spn 14x16

**Thoughts about Spn 14x16**

**SPOILERS! BEWARE!**

Sorry for the late review. There is a lot going on right now and I don’t always have the mental energy to write something, so sorry in advance if this review isn’t as detailed as usually. Overall the last episode was ok-ish, but I also felt like it was not really necessary. It addressed themes that were already established and didn’t move the story forward. Jack’s storyline was the more interesting of the two, whereas our monster of the week was a not so subtle mirror for our potential Big Bad of the season – Jack.

But, as always, let’s take a closer look.

**The woods are lovely, dark and deep**

The Sam – and Dean part of the story is a very simply told horror story, that tries to unite every cliché we know about why you should not wander into the woods at night. I couldn’t even pity the victims that much because they were right in the middle of every horror movie ever made and should have known better. The Kohonta itself was very similar to the Wendigo (which made me wonder why they didn’t use the Wendigo again): both born out of hunger, both monsters that are made, not born. And that is the point, isn’t it?

Because if we look at Jack and his potential to become a monster, the similarities are clear. Jack isn’t born a monster either, despite his powers. Rather it is his choices who begin to make him one, especially his decision to sacrifice his soul in order to save his family. And isn’t there a beautiful tragedy in it? A monster born out of love? A boy, trying to do right, and hurting everyone in the process? But also the Kohonta had to kill his family in order to survive. Not only killing them but eating them, consuming them. Jack did consume Michal’s grace, who was after all his family. Will he turn on his chosen family as well? Or will they turn on him?

And of course Sam & Dean and Jack both start the episode different than how they end it. Sam & Dean don’t tell Jack the truth about why they don’t take him on their hunt. In the end though they decide that Jack deserves to learn the truth. Jack however tells the kids the truth, or as much as is possible, and even admits that he doesn’t like lying. In the end however he lies to Sam and Dean about what happened. The Sheriff asks why Sam and Dean don’t tell everyone the truth so that they can better prepare themselves, but they reply that not everyone is ready to handle the truth. They make this decision on behalf of other people, just as thought Jack wasn’t ready for the truth, just as Jack decided his family didn’t have the right to learn what happened (and I’m pretty sure they will at some point). Truth is ever so often uncomfortable and hard to swallow and perhaps sometimes people are not ready to hear it. But that is no reason to deny it from them.

**Teenage Wasteland**

In Jack’s part of the story we meet the teenagers from 14x13 again and it becomes evident how different Jack is from them, and not just because of his unhuman nature. It is clear that he has never spent time with kids his age (not literary his age, you know what I mean). He listens to the same music as Dean, watches the same movies (and they have a movie night!), and of course he models his moral code after Sam and Dean, last episode with asking himself what the Winchesters would do, this week in promising them to only use his powers if they give their permission. It is obvious that Jack wants to belong, wants to make friends. Out of the three Eliot seems to be the one most eager to spend time with Jack, impressed by Sam and Dean’s job as hunters. This is the first time where Jack acts in a way the Winchesters wouldn’t have. He encourages Eliot, tells him about supernatural creatures and even brings books from the bunker to him. Despite the fact that Sam and Dean told Max, Stacey and Eliot the truth it would not be in their interest to see Eliot becoming obsessed with it, perhaps even hoping to become a hunter himself. Jack is missing this nuance.

The climax of the episode is of course Jack playing with the angel blade, almost resulting in Stacey’s death. It is here more evident than ever that he is missing his soul (or large parts of it). He doesn’t stop despite the other three being scared. He obviously didn’t meant to hurt Stacey, but after he healed her he thought the situation was fixed and couldn’t understand why Stacey, Max and Eliot did no longer wanted to be around him. Furthermore Eliot asks him what he is (not who), demonstrating once again that Jack is not human. And I think in the end it is Eliot’s reaction that tells Jack that he did was wrong, which results in him not telling Sam and Dean about it. Jack can no longer decide on his own what is right and what is wrong. He is basing his morality on the people around him and how they react to the things he does. (I wonder if Cas told Sam and Dean about the snake, but I guess he didn’t because they didn’t bring it up)

Until next week <3


	17. Thoughts about Spn 14x17

**Thoughts about Spn 14x17**

**SPOILERS AHEAD! BEWARE!**

Sooooooooooooooooo. Admittedly I wasn’t looking forward that much to this episode, because both Donatello and Nick (and his Lucifer obsession) are characters/storylines I’m not that interested in. However it seems like Jack will be the character all storylines will evolve around now, and that has me sucked in. I’m concerned about Mary and her fate and I hope that Supernatural has learned from their past and doesn’t sacrifice a beloved character in order to create man-pain.

But, as always, let’s have a closer look.

**Lady in Red**

(Random observation: loved Danneel’s look). In this week’s subplot we have Cas enlisting Anael to help him find God, in order to restore Jack’s soul. Anael is yet another angel who has become disillusioned with God and his creation. She can’t understand how God has created earth and humanity, his so called perfect people, but allows hatred and pain, because he doesn’t meddle. We do know that God at times does meddle (Cas specifically mentions his resurrections) but that of course in creating humans he also gave them free will. And that’s kind of the point (and in many ways what this show is about: we are our choices). Mary reminds Sam that what Nick did is not his fault, because they were Nick’s choices. There will always be evil in the world because there will always be people who make that choice. But there will also be goodness; Sam’s choice to give Nick a second chance was an act of kindness. As Mary said it shows the kind of man he is: a good man.

Anael, like many other angels, can’t grasp the concept of free will. She uses her powers to meddle, to make a difference. On the surface it looks like she does it for money, but as she told Cas, if you think that is the only reason you haven’t paid attention.

I feel a lot of Cas and Anael’s interactions were there to contrast the two characters and to show once again how different Cas is from all the other angels, how human he has become (it is a pattern and knowing the show will come to an end it feels like he has to make a choice eventually). In the waffle house we saw him ordering food, whereas Anael denied even a cup of coffee. Anael says that they are all alone, but Cas disagrees. Anael has lost her faith in heaven, in her angelic family, in God. Cas says it doesn’t matter if God cares about them or not because they still have each other; Cas has found a new family. And Anael of course was right in her assumption that Cas is currently hiding from Sam and Dean, that he is afraid to tell them the truth. His priorities are with his family and no longer with his mission.

The other repeated theme is of course God himself and how often he had been mentioned this season, especially calling out his absence and that he doesn’t seem to care. We heard that before from Michael, who because of God’s absence took it upon himself to become the new God. God of course is also always seen as a parallel to John (the way Michael and Lucifer work as a parallel for Dean and Sam). God isn’t the only absent father. However John did return this season and it gave his sons a chance for closure, to make their peace with how he raised them, and to reflect on their own lives and realize that they no longer need their father, that they no longer have to carry around the ghost of John. Cas saying that it doesn’t matter if God is around is similar to that. It is possible he will make another appearance after he has been mentioned that much, and because he might be the only one powerful enough to either save or stop Jack. Emotionally it might lead to another sort of closure, both for the Winchesters and the angels.  

**We need to talk about Jack**

First of all, the main discourse after this episode, and my opinion about it: PINEAPPLE DOES NOT BELONG ON PIZZA. DEAN IS RIGHT, IT IS AN ABOMINATION.

That being said I loved the five seconds of domestic Winchesters we got this week (why do you have to be so cruel show). Dean playing Mouse Trap is of course a foretelling of Nick and his complicated trap to get what he wants: Lucifer. I honestly don’t care about Donatello as a character (sorry dude), but it pained me to realize that Nick was right about something: the Winchesters don’t have many friends left he can use as bait. Of course there was a very specific reason why Nick needed Donatello: as a prophet he could use him to communicate to Lucifer. I wonder though if you can simply inject angel grace to a human? We know that not every human is capable to contain an angel, but it was just a little grace. It might have also something to do with Donatello’s special status as prophet or the fact that he is soulless that his body seemed unaffected by the grace.

The whole Nick storyline was… well I’m glad it is over. Nick has gone to a point where he identified himself so much with Lucifer that he feels incomplete without him, that he even referred to Jack as his own son. Of course he needed Jack for a very specific reason, or rather his blood. This might be the reason why Lucifer could come back: because a part of him is still tied to this world. Jack is his blood. Which is quite similar to how ghosts are created in the world of Supernatural: they can only stay because something of them still ties them to our world (their body, a certain possession etc). It also seemed to me that Nick was especially interested in Sam and that he was jealous of Sam’s status as the perfect vessel for Lucifer. I’m not sure if Nick’s speech to Dean, how being a vessel for an archangel changes you, was just there to provoke Dean or if we will see some change in Dean after all. So far he seems to be his old self again.

So let’s talk about Jack. We start the episode with Mary expressing her concern and Jack being annoyed by it, before he puts on a face to reassure Mary that he is alright. Mary of course knows Jack well enough to see right through it (in the time they spent together in the Apocalypse-World he became another son to her, perhaps more than Sam and Dean, because he still needs a mother to guide him). We see how utterly terrified Jack is by the thought that he might no longer has a soul. He wants to be ok, he wants to be all right, he doesn’t want to worry his family. Part of Jack’s behaviour read to me as a metaphor for depression. The absence of his soul, the emptiness he feels because of it, how he wants to be right again, how he doesn’t want to hurt his family but at the same is annoyed by their concern for him.

Jack repeatedly asks Mary for moral guidance. He asks for her permission to use his powers in order to find Nick. He needs her to tell him that it was okay that he killed Nick, and when she doesn’t he becomes upset, and is afraid she tells Sam and Dean about it and what their reaction might be. [@mittensmorgul](https://tmblr.co/mH08bFF21ewTCayiwIXZEOg) [already pointed out](http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/183979724900/i-find-this-bit-of-dialogue-at-the-end-of-1417) that Jack misinterprets “ _Something is wrong_ ” into “ _You are wrong_ ”. Jack wants to be right, he wants to make the right choices, but he can no longer tell what is right and what is wrong (which brings us back to ‘we are our choices’). If they set up Jack as a villain (and I’m not 100% sold on that) it would make an interesting difference because for once we would have a bad guy who desperately doesn’t want to be a bad guy. And it might come back to Sam (and Dean), to good man, who give second chances, who try to save him instead of killing him.

At last I want to talk about Mary and potential death. I’m not saying she is but it is a possibility. We saw her giving two speeches to her sons, that should ring any alarm bell because they looked like goodbyes. She told Dean that is grateful for the time she spent together with her sons (after apologizing for being closed off and hard, which reminded me why I love her so much as a character: she is not the traditional mother, but rather a complicated complex female character). She tells Sam that he is a good man and proud of him. It is possible that they will kill of Mary (again), that they will use her death as the point of no return for Jack and to show us how much of a danger he is, that he is perhaps past saving.

However I really hope that won’t be the direction where they go. I love Mary as a character, I love that they brought back the original fridged character and that is why her death would be so problematic for me. Killing off a beloved character to get the plot in a certain direction is something Supernatural has done so many times and it never works and I sincerely hope they have learned from their mistakes. And surprisingly it is Nick who gives me hope here. Because after all nobody stays dead anymore.

Until next week <3


	18. Thoughts about Spn 14x18

# Thoughts about Spn 14x18

This will probably more wanky and shorter than my usual episode reviews. If you don’t wanna see any negativity on your dash I get it, then please ignore this post. 

My anger towards this episode is based on Mary’s death. Her second death I might add, because fridging Mary (and Jess) was always somewhat the original sin of this show. But then they decided to bring her back, to make her in complex layered character, that I loved a lot, especially because Mary was always more than just a mother, that they allowed her to become more than just that. I hated how certain parts of this fandom reacted to her in what a felt was a very biased way, judging her for exact same actions her sons did. 

I think Bobo tried to do her justice in this episode (I don’t think it was his decision to kill her off). We learned that she didn’t have to suffer, that her death was painless andthat she is now at peace. The flashbacks we saw paid a tribute to her character. It is interesting to see that while both Jack and Sam remembered how she helped them, Dean remembers how he took care of her. Because even before her (first) death that was his role and that is what he always wanted: to protect her. (Also in Cas’s memory we see how apprehensive Mary was at first towards Cas, which I kinda [wrote a fic about](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F8023084&t=ODRhYzMxMWRmY2JhNDE5MzU0ZjI0ZWNiNTExMjEyMzNiYWRjYzRiNSw0aDdJSnhUag%3D%3D&b=t%3AmZ74xsg2zq_qvub1chY1lg&p=https%3A%2F%2Fnerdylittleshit.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F184187661657%2Fthoughts-about-spn-14x18&m=1) before season 12 was released.)

Regarding Jack’s fate: I think both Sam and Cas still believe in him, and that he is worth saving. Dean reacted the most upset to Mary’s death, blaming Cas, though I believe he did because he needed someone to blame and he later admitted that they all were suspicious of Jack, that they were all afraid that something is wrong with him. 

I don’t think it is just Jack’s lack of a soul that is the problem. The “then”-segment showed us that Nick’s spell to bring back Lucifer, based on Jack’s blood, affected Jack as well. Throughout the episode he saw hallucinations of Lucifer. Lucifer who told Jack that he doesn’t feel anything despite the episode showing us how deeply affected Jack was by Mary’s death and how guilty he felt. The most interesting part though was the end: Lucifer telling Jack that his family no longer trusts him and therefore he shouldn’t trust them as well. Even if they do decide to save Jack and not kill him, the question is if Jack wants to be saved, if he still trusts his family to do it. 

In the end Mary’s story feels unfinished. We know that she struggled when she first came back, so thematically it would have made more sense to kill her off in season 11. We started the season with Mary and Bobby, a storyline that was completely dropped. Her death doesn’t make sense regarding her own story, and felt to me as if it was just there to further develop Jack’s story and that of Sam, Dean and Cas. It leaves a very bitter taste in my mouth. I’m pissed because it seems this show will never learn their lessons.


	19. Thoughts about Spn 14x19

# Thoughts about Spn 14x19

**SPOILERS AHEAD!**

Sooo. A bit later than usual, but I’ve been busy these past days and I’m not that excited about the current direction Supernatural is heading at, so watching the new episode was not on top of my do to list. Overall I liked the episode and it reminded me a lot of the Godstiel-arc. Jack continues to be an interesting antagonist and I’m curious to see what the show will do with him in next week’s season finale, though I try to keep my expectations low (yes, Mary’s death still leaves a very bitter taste in my mouth).

Without further ado let’s take a closer look.

**When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it.**

In a show that is all about saving people and hunting things the big question is: is Jack people or things? Can he still be saved or is Bobby right when he says Jack is a monster who no longer knows right from wrong.

We start the episode with Mary’s memorial ceremony, which for one thing shows us that there are a couple of AU hunters left, but also the legacy Mary left behind. That she was family not just to her sons but to all those people. And as Dean reminds us, that Mary was more than just a mother, that in the time they had together her sons had the chance to get to know her as a person. And looking back the past seasons and the way Mary was portrayed this is what the show did as well: making her more than just a mother. Instead she became a wonderfully complex layered female character, that not everyone could always agree on, ironically because they allowed her to become more than just a mom and to make mistakes as well. I’m still angry about the decision to kill her off, especially as it seems they only did it to develop the current plot into a certain direction and they no longer had any idea what to do with her character, after her arc with Bobby was completely dropped and instead we were told that being reunited with John is what makes her complete. Somehow I don’t see her returning and if so it would feel cheap and it still pains me that we are going to end this show the way it started: with a dead mother.

We see everyone affected by Mary’s death grief in a different way: Bobby wants to kill the one responsible for her death, Sam wants to talk about her, whereas Dean pretends to be ok, until he is on his own and breaks down crying (I’m Dean). And then we have Jack who sees Mary’s death as something abstract. Of course by the time he returns to Sam and Dean Dumah has already manipulated him, so him referring to Mary’s death as an accident is just repeating what Dumah said. Dumah gives him the redemption he so desperately needs by telling him he can still be good, he can still make it up to Sam and Dean. She saw the immense power Jack has and that he no longer has a human moral code to guide him, so she used him for her own purposes. But the question remains if Jack honestly regrets Mary’s death or if he is just fearful of how his family will react to him now.

In his desperation Jack reaches out to his mother, symbolically his human side, but the only answer he gets is hallucinating Lucifer, presenting his dark side. Lucifer voices out every dark thought Jack has ever had. I don’t think Jack is evil, but he is not good either. He is an empty vessel, looking for guidance, with way too much power at his hands.

A lot of Jack’s story reminded me of the Godstiel-arc. Both start to punish people who are in their eyes non-believers. Both think that what they do is right and just. The difference is that Cas acted on his own, whereas Jack was manipulated by Dumah to do those things. Cas was filled with souls, whereas Jack is missing his soul. Both times it is Sam who reaches out to them, who believes that perhaps they can be saved. Both times it is Dean who is the hardliner, but who is also unable to kill the family that hurt him. In both cases, Godstiel and now Jack, the opponent was too powerfull to be killed, but I think symbolically it also means Dean can’t do it. Despite everything Dean loved Cas, he now loves Jack, so he locks them up, the way he could never kill Sam. Cas and Sam both believe in Jack, that he can be saved, because they became monsters as well. They did horrible things (and even Jack knows that they made mistakes) but they always believed that they could redeem themselves, so now they put the same trust in Jack.

I don’t think that Dean’s decision was unreasonable. Jack is incredible powerful and has no longer a moral code to guide him. The reason Dean started to trust Jack was because he saw something good in him. But the entire conversation Jack had with Sam and Dean proves what Dean fears the most: that Jack can no longer tell right from wrong. A huge kudos to Jared, Jensen and Alex for acting this scene so brilliant. The way Dean had to restrain himself, how heartbroken Sam was knowing he had to lie to Jack, and Jack, oblivious to all of that, because he can no longer tell if someone lies to him, if someone tries to manipulate him. He still wants to do good, but the question is if he wants to do good because it is the right thing or because he wants to go back to the way things were, where his family still loved and trusted him?

In the end Jack is a monster that has been made. As Dumah reminded Cas Jack gave his soul in an act of goodness. If he now turns against Sam, Dean and Cas, if he becomes the monster they initially feared he could be, it is because they treated him like a monster, like a thing that has to be locked away instead of someone worth saving.

**Some other things:**

  * The way I remember angel lore human can’t simply become angels. We know human souls can be twisted to become demons, but here they are seemingly upgraded. I wonder if we will see those human-angels again and what effect it will have on them and the consequences of it.


  * Dumah treated Mary and John, therefore Cas’s family, and got killed. Big mistake.


  * Deans says that the stuff Ketch left behind is not too bad, talking about the alcohol, but I thought there was some deeper meaning as well. Ketch was a Men of Letter and he would have handled the situation with Jack the way Dean did. He left behind his own imprint on Dean.




	20. Thoughts about Spn 14x20

**Thoughts about Spn 14x20**

**SPOILERS AHEAD! BEWARE!**

WHAT. A. SEASON. FINALE. I admit I wasn’t that invested in season 14, mostly because Michael as a villain didn’t spark my interest. I was curious to see how they would handle the situation with Jack and what the stakes would be going into season 15, knowing it would be the last season. And the show went into a direction I did not see coming (and thankfully I had managed to avoid any kind of spoilers) and I am super exited to see where they will be going with this next season. Is this officially the most meta episode now? I think so. And I love it.

But, as always, let’s take a closer look.

**You’re my favourite show**

We start the episode with Jack escaping from the bunker and his wish for everyone to stop lying. Lies and truth are a big theme of this episode, so much that we are told twice that writers lie. The writer within the episode of course is Chuck but it also a meta reference to the writers of the show.

For a brief time Jack’s wish comes true and nobody can lie anymore. Which of course created some comedy gold (Trump’s deal with Crowley, Queen Elizabeth is a lizard etc) and a missed opportunity for Dean and Cas to talk about their feelings for each other (I guess this was the closest we could get to a truth spell). But we see the chaos it created, that we need lies to live peacefully together and the amount of power Jack has. And of course arguably the wish had no effect on Chuck, and yet by the end of the episode he is forced to reveal the truth.

A lot of what we see then felt to me like things we have seen before on the show. A family member that turns into a monster, making a hard choice or rather the feeling of having no choice, the brothers fighting, one of them wanting to sacrifice himself, a magical weapon. It is familiar because we have seen it before. And naturally a show in its 14th season is repeating some of their storylines, but it felt a bit like lazy writing to me, and I think that was actually their intention. We as an audience are meant to be reminded that this a story, because in the end it turns out it really is just that: a story.

I still think Jack is a rather unusual villain (if he is a villain at all) and that is what makes him so interesting. He still has the best intentions, he says that all he ever wanted was to do good. Despite his grandmother yelling at him he only tells her to stop and doesn’t repeat what happened to Mary. But he knows that he can no longer feel anything, he even tells Dean that he is a monster, and in the end he is ready to die. Despite Chuck killing him I think we will see him again. Billie visiting him in the Empty makes sure of that.

Dean’s decision not to kill Jack is interesting as he does indeed follow the script, at least as far as the biblical story of Abraham goes, who could not kill his son Isaak either, and despite Chuck claiming that this is not how the story is supposed to end. If we look at Supernatural one of its biggest themes has always been free will/choice. Sam even said so to Dean, that it always came down to them having a choice. Chuck himself, long before he was revealed to be God, even said to Dean and Cas “you are not supposed to be in this story”. The story of Supernatural is built on these characters having a choice. And Dean obviously uses his choice not to kill Jack.

Chuck is interesting as he is both the writer/creator of the story as well as the audience. He is both active and passive. He has created the story and he has the power to intervene, yet for the most part he decides to watch what he calls “his favourite show”. And of course as an audience we can only take the story as it is – we can like it or dislike it, but we can’t change it. And this isn’t even “choose your own adventure”. Chuck can intervene and he can manipulate the characters to do what he wants (he sure tries) but he can’t force them.  And by forcing the story into the direction he wants he reveals his true nature. That he always had the power to kill Jack, but thought that Dean killing his own son (and by that killing himself) would be more dramatic. Or simply the better story. And that all the pain the Winchesters had to endure was nothing more than entertainment for him. And that is of course where the show calls out its own audience. Of course we did not choose that Sam and Dean had to suffer that much, but we watched them all the same, we used their lives as entertainment as well. This isn’t the first time the show has broken the fourth wall but I don’t think they have ever done it so clever before.

The question is where will we go from this. Not only was Chuck/God revealed to be the villain all along, as it seems he also undid everything the Winchesters have ever done, bringing back every monster they ever killed. Will they try to kill God in season 15? So far it didn’t seem like the CW didn’t have the guts to do something like that, but perhaps with the show’s final season they will. It would certainly be the ultimate act of free will. How will Billie and Jack fit in this? Was Sam perhaps right that Chuck was afraid of Jack? Did he willingly arrange the story in a way that would result in Jack’s death? Did Chuck realize that Jack is too powerful, that jack perhaps has the power to kill God/replace him? Because as Chuck said, if he dies existence dies as well (then again writers lie). Can the Winchesters kill God without killing the universe? Is it Jack’s role to replace Chuck? Is Billie on their side because Chuck meddled with destiny? She told Dean there was only one way to defeat Michael (trapping himself in the box), because it was written in her books, and yet we saw a different outcome, suggesting perhaps that Chuck changed the story because he didn’t like what was written in Billie’s books. And we know from the old Death that one day Death would reap God as well. Whatever will happen it is going to be a very interesting final season. I’m pumped.

**Some other things:**

  * Sam finally calling Dean out to be a nerd. We knew it all along but it is good to hear it anyway.


  * The company named “Mirror universe”. The Mirror Universe is a big thing in the Star Trek universe. Of course we have already seen one other universe in the show and Chuck confirmed that there are many other universes. I wonder if they will play a role in season 15.


  * Chuck calling the British Men of Letters weak, aka Andrew Dabb’s way to apologize for season 12. Though I personally liked them.




End file.
